Week of 2 June 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

ADVENTURE #12/515 (8/10)
"Playing Hooky"

ROLL CALL:

Brainiac 5, Chameleon Boy, Colossal Boy, Cosmic Boy, Invisible Kid (Lyle), Phantom Girl, Saturn Girl, Superboy (Kal), Triplicate Girl; also R.J. Brande

CUTE BOYS: Brainy, Gim, Kal, Lyle, Rokk (and don't miss shirtless little Jason Todds in the preview of Red Hood: The Lost Days)

This issue has two covers, and boy do Legion fans want both. The variant one is an interpretation of the Great Darkness cover where all the Legionnaires are on their knees to Darkseid, and it looks spectacular. The standard cover, showing Superboy and the Legion, is rather static and the figures are disturbingly distorted. I guess Yildiray Cinar was too busy.

Paul Levitz gives us a sweet story of young Kal-El visiting the future so he can be himself. He plays off the same device that Geoff Johns used with another Superboy (Conner) Adventure #1, a checklist: in this case, Kal's list of things he can't do in his own time. Nothing of much consequence happens, in a cosmic sense, but Superboy has a "pretty much perfect" day.

The only real shadow across his perfect day is that he gets kissed by all the girls, but none of the boys. I'm guessing that's for another list.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: The costumes and roster put this early in the history of the Legion. Luornu is still Triplicate Girl, Gigi Cusimano is still at the S.P. Academy on Mars waiting for her first assignment.

Imra puts a block in Kal's mind: "sort of a post-hypnotic command, to keep you from being intimidated or confused -- you won't recall clearly anything you learn in the 31st century about your own future -- and each visit here will be almost like a dream." Later, upon returning to the present, Kal tells Pa Kent: "I think I saw some of my future, Dad. But it's all fuzzy -- like it was a dream. A really good dream. You know how it all starts fading after you wake up?"

This is all canon. In classic days, the whole "post-hypnotic suggestion" thing came about to explain how Superboy and Supergirl could be in the Legion together if they didn't meet until he was Superman. Originally, I believe, the post-hypnotic suggestion was self-imposed. Later, the concept was expended to cover both Kal and Kara, and included many of the details that they learned in the future. Saturn Girl was brought into the act much later.

It's a fun concept, especially the way it's treated here. But it's one of those ideas that, when you start looking at it too closely, begins to fall apart. Do we really believe that young Imra Ardeen has the power to play such sophisticated games with Superboy's mind? Or that she could so easily overcome her reluctance to mess with teammates' minds? Do we really believe that these mental blocks won't have some psychological costs for Superboy/man? What about the morality of this whole thing?

I'm not sure that there's a better solution, and the whole "like a dream" treatment is promising...but I'm still uneasy about the future of the concept.

Brainiac 5 serves Kono juice at Superboy's party. The Legion has been drinking kono juice for a good long time.

CHRONICLER'S ERROR?:

Imra says that she is an orphan. This is a difference from the classic Legion, in which the Five Legion Orphans were Brainiac 5, Dream Girl, Element Lad, Mon-El, and Superboy.

Imra's ID tag identifies her as "Imra Ardeen-Ranzz" -- but at this time she wasn't married and so was just "Ardeen." R.J. Brande's tag gives his homeworld as Durla, which is correct, but at this point in history it was pretty much a secret -- and I'm afraid it gives away something Levitz is setting up for next issue, namely that Brande is Chameleon Boy's father. I'll bet these ID tags are added at a late date from a standard list for each character, and we can't really expect whoever's adding them to keep up with two different time periods.

Imra specifically mentions that they are in the 31st century. That's...possible, I suppose. If the "current" Legion exists in 3010 CE (which Legion of Super-Heroes #1 says it does), and the Legionnaires there are in their 20's (say, Cosmic Boy is 25, 26), then this story could be taking place in 3001 CE and Cos could be, say, 14 or 15. But it strains credulity to think that this young Imra is only 9 years removed from the mother of twins in LSH #1.

Legion creators, listen up: It's always been a mistake to be too exact about dates in the Legion. Even insisting on the traditional exactly-1,000-year-gap leads to trouble sooner or later. If you want to fix Legion chronology and use specific years, I told you how here. Otherwise, for the next few years, just say that the teen Legion (featuring Sueprboy) is in "the 30th century" and the older Lgionnaires (featuring Superman) are in the 31st. I am a geeky fanboy, trust me: I know what I'm talking about.

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SUPERMAN/BATMAN ANNUAL #4 (8/10)
"A Time Beyond Hope"

ROLL CALL:

Mon-El

CUTE BOYS: Mon, Terry McGinniss, Green-Haired Victim Boy, Assorted Metropolis Toughs, and what about that centerfold advertisement for Unnatural History, eh? I know where I'll be at 8 pm on June 13th.

Paul Levitz has been busy lately. Here's a story set in "the not-so-distant future," the world of Batman Beyond.  It's a nice little story, pretty much self-contained, with all sorts of Levitz touches. Mon-El's appearance, in just two panels toward the end, is perfectly justified, totally in character, and makes nonsense of the claim that the Phantom Zone would be off-limits for the rest of the 21st century.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to drool over the Unnatural History boy....

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Week of 26 May 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #34 (7/10)
"Out of Time Part One of Two"

ROLL CALL:

Cosmic Boy, Lightning Ld, Saturn Girl

CUTE BOYS: Garth, Rokk with his shirt off, ooo baby!

When Earth is destroyed by a black hole, the founding Legionnaires go into the past to enlist the help of the early Doom Patrol. The team returns to the future before Earth is destroyed and, working together with lots of witty banter, eliminate the black hole in time to change the future and spare Earth.

Competent art, nice story, good characterization, plenty of appropriate humor: this one was fun. (And did I mention that Rokk strides around with his shirt off?) All in all, this is an excellent example of a Silver Age story, just written by one of the best of today's writers.

Plus, this is just Part One: Part Two comes next month, teams the Subs and the Inferior Five, and dovetails with this issue to tell the flip side of the story. It should be a real hoot.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS:

The original Legion clubhouse, classic costumes, and apparent age of the Legionnaires sets this story sometime in the early years of the Silver Age Legion. I'm not up on my Doom Patrol history, but I think this is early in that group's history as well -- Negative Man is there, and there are only four members.

The Legion's time machine is called a "Time Bubble," not the more recent "Time Sphere." We also see some previously-unshown TARDIS-like features of the Time Bubble, including a basement crammed with machinery. Saturn Girl, in a nice nod to her early science background (she did invent Serum XY-4, after all) says, "The power source and control systems exist in their own quantum space alongside the bubble, connected by a fourth-dimensional portal."

I recall at least one Legion story where Brainiac 5 had a lab aboard a time bubble; now we know where he was hiding it.

This story recalls many of the early Silver Age Legion crossovers: the Legionnaires (usually Cos, Garth, and Imra) bop back and forth to the Silver Age present at will, they are familiar with heroes of the present day, and everyone cooperates in a technobabble solution to a world-destroying problem. Imra even says, of time travel, "We do it all the time. We've got it down to a science."

This is the first story I've seen in a long, long time in which two disparate groups of super-heroes meet without immediately fighting with one another. It's refreshing.

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Week of 19 May 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES  #1 (7/10)
"The Scream Heard 'Cross the Universe"

ROLL CALL (Main):

Brianiac 5, Colossal Boy, Cosmic Boy, Dawnstar, Earth-Man, Phantom Girl, Saturn Girl, Sun Boy, Ultra Boy

ROLL CALL (Cameos):

Blok, Bouncing Boy, Duplicate Damsel, Lightning Lad, Polar Boy, White Witch

ROLL CALL (Supporting Cast):

Aven, Garridan Ranzz, Gigi Cusimano, Graym Ranzz, Lighting Lord, Sodam Yat

CUTE BOYS: Blond Science Police Officer, Dirk, Gim, Rokk, some Titanian cannon fodder

Two covers this time, and it goes without saying that Legion fans will want both.

After 21 years the Legion is back, with Paul Levitz at the helm and the incomparable Yildiray Cinar and Wayne Fancher doing the art. And this old-timer couldn't be happier.

Buy this issue. Buy two copies. Buy the one with the alternate cover. Buy several copies for friends. We want this comic to sell well.

On to the story. There are two major stories, and in true Levitz style they are told in various threads that entwine through the issue.

Story one: Earth-Man (last seen in L3W) is being de-powered by the S.P.s. But wait -- Earthgov, which still has a powerful minority of xenophobes -- insists that the Legion take him on as a member. Brainy, being no fool, makes him a special flight ring with extra security features built in.

Story two: At the Time Institute, which has been relocated to Titan, scientists are testing their new super-duper time-viewer. The head scientist (not Circadia Senius) decides to turn it on the beginning of the universe. Uh-oh...the last guy who tried that was Krona, and it did not turn out well. And it doesn't this time, either...in fact, Titan gets destroyed.

Meanwhile, Saturn Girl has been visiting Titan with the twins. (Lightning Lad is off chasing after Mekt's supposed missing twin.) She gets caught up in the disaster, as does the rest of the Legion. In the confusion, Garridan and Graym vanish, as if teleported away. Imra heads off after them in the Institute's one remaining time sphere.

On Oa, Sodam Yat witnesses the Institute's transgression and is surprised when an entity named Dyogene bursts from the ground and demands a power ring. With Mogo gone, Dyogene appears to be the new buy in charge of handing out power rings. He appears on Earth and names Earth-Man the new Green Lantern of Sector 2814.

Wow!

This is storytelling. This is characterization. This is a good Legion comic.


BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Notice the orbs floating in Titan's sky. They are reminiscent of Wayne Boring's classic style in Superman, where odd moons and planets were always floating about. I don't know if this was an intentional homage, but it was cool nonetheless.

Yes, Cinar can draw female boobs to please the fanboys -- both Phantom Girl and Dawnstar are on display -- but don't worry, he is equally adept at drawing cute boys. Dirk in particular is gorgeous in this issue.

I was wondering where the Ranzz twins were. Very nice to see them. Of course, by the end of the issue I'm wondering where they are again. Poor Imra.

Good to see Gigi, too, and she's been promoted to Chief. She and Colossal Boy have quite a history with one another. Watch for some of it to come out in future issues.

Saturn Girl turns her ring insignia upside down to summon the other Legionnaires when Titan is falling apart. That's an emergency signal that dates back to the original Adventure days.

Titan's environment is maintained by high-tech shields. That's a nice touch, and also recalls a similar shield around Ganymede in Robert A. Heinlein's Farmer in the Sky.

CHRONICLER'S ERROR?:

On page 4, the Interlac letters on the right read "Time Institute." On the left, they read "Acacdemy," which isn't really an error...it's how people spelled "Academy" in ancient Titanian dialect.

The story starts off identifying the date as A.D. 3010. Yeah, don't believe it. You think they'd learn by now to stop putting exact dates in Legion comics unless they have a well-planned scheme to back them up. The Ranzz twins are obviously less than 10 years old, and we know they weren't born in the 31st century.

OTOH, Paul Levitz has a great text page in the back in which he says, "Be warned that the phenomenon of 'chronicler's error' lurks in all Legion tales." Truer words were never spoken.


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TINY TITANS #28 (7/10)
"Presenting the Super-Pets"

ROLL CALL:

Brianiac 5, Beppo, Krypto, Comet, Streaky, Ace, B'Dg, Proty

CUTE BOYS: Everyone is terribly cute and enormously pre-pubescent. Tiny Conner, though, should definitely come back when he's older.

Tiny Titans is aimed at the same audience as Jack & Jill or Highlights, and it's just delightful. It exists entirely outside continuity, or course.

There are several stories of various super-pets, ranging from one to six pages. From the cover it's obvious that the Super-Pets are onboard, but I wasn't expecting Brainiac 5. A pleasant surprise.

I'm just surprised that Super-Turtle wasn't along for the fun.

(Who is B'Dg, you ask? He's a squirrel who seems to be the pet of the Green Lantern Corps.)

If you have kid in your life, get them a subscription to Tiny Titans. Expose them to comics early, so they can grow up to be Legion fans.

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Week of 12 May 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

ADVENTURE #514/#11 (7/10)

"Last Stand of New Krypton: The Epilogue is the Future"

ROLL CALL (Major):

 

Brainiac 5, Chameleon Boy, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Sensor Girl, Starman/Star Boy, Tellus; also Vril Dox

ROLL CALL (Cameos):

 

Bouncing Boy, Chameleon Girl, Colosal Boy, Cosmic Boy, Dawnstar, Duplicate Damsel, Gates, Invisible Kid (Jacques), Lightning Lass, Night Girl, Phantom Girl, Polar Boy, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Shrinking Violet, Sun Boy, Timber Wolf, Ultra Boy, Wildfire, XS

MYSTERIOUSLY ABSENT: Element Lad, Lightning Lad, Quislet

CUTE BOYS: Brainy, Dirk, Gim, Jo, Mon, Rokk, Tenzil, Vril Dox (but Brainy's cuter!)

This issue has two covers, and Legion fans are going to want both. The variant one departs from the usual Adventure #300 style, and instead divides up space into polygons and circles, recalling Flash Comics #1; you don't suppose someone read my post The Tale of a Classic Cover, do you?

In this one issue, all the Legion-related dangling threads from the Superman books are tied up, almost as an afterthought. If James Robinson wrote as concisely as Sterling Gates does in this first story, Last Stand of New Krypton would've been one single oversize issue...and vastly improved for it.

Anyway, the story: Cham and some of the Espionage Squad (Quislet and Element Lad are mysteriously absent) follow the instructions of R.J. Brande's will, repairing the broken strands of time that have fractured the continuum and sealed off the future. They enlarge one of Brainiac's bottled cities, filled with Durlans, to become New Durla. This city contains Queltop Daggle, ancestor of Ren Daggle (R.J. Brande) and Reep Daggle (Chameleon Boy). Thus, one broken strand of time has been repaired.

Next, Brainy is in a ship taking his ancestor, Brainiac, back to Colu for imprisonment. Brainiac almost escapes, but is stopped by Vril Dox of L.E.G.I.O.N. (another ancestor of Brainy's). Vril takes Brainiac to Colu to collect the ransom. Brainy reflects that the Legion stopped Brainiac from killing Superman, and saved the bottled cities that would have been destroyed. The space-time continuum is healed, and Brainy takes a time sphere back to the 31st century, where he is welcomed by almost all the active Legionnaires. (Blok and Mysa are presumably on Xerox, but Lightning Lad is mysteriously absent. Montior duty, maybe?)

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Over the thousand years between our time and the Legion's, New Durla has become simply "Durla." Brainy mentions that in the 21st century, the Durlans are nomadic, and "there are thousands of tribes hidden in pockets across the universe." The ones Brianiac captured ("centuries ago") were called the Kel'par.

Brainy's log entry is numbered 20100512, which is the date that this comic hit the stands: year 2010, month 05, day 12.

Time bubbles are now known as "time spheres." The one Brainy uses is Time Sphere 426. Does this imply that there have been at least 425 others?

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ADVENTURE #514/#11 (7/10)

"Man of Valor Finale"

ROLL CALL (Major):

Cosmic Boy, Mon-El; also Superboy (Conner), R.J. Brande (recorded voice)

ROLL CALL (Cameos):

 

Brainiac 5, Chemical King, Cosmic Boy, Duplicate Damsel, Element Lad, Invisible Kid (Lyle), Lightning Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Quislet, Saturn Girl, Sensor Girl, Shrinking Violet, Starman/Star Boy, Sun Boy, Superboy (Kal), Tellus, Timber Wolf, Ultra Boy

CUTE BOYS: Brainy, Conner, Dirk, Garth, Jan, Jimmy Olsen, Jo, Mon, Rokk, Tenzil

Well, it all played out pretty much the way I expected. Mon planted the bottled cities all over the galaxy; their original planets and/or suns were destroyed, but he found empty ones. In doing this, Mon became a legend...not "Valor," but "Mon-El"...who seeded many of the important worlds of the galaxy. In previous continuity, Valor seeded the worlds with Earth humans who had been experimented upon by the Dominators; this time around, Mon-El seeds the worlds with aliens from Brianiac's bottled cities. The other way, it explained why so many "alien" races looked human and could interbreed; this way, it begs the looks and interbreeding questions, but allows the other worlds to be populated by true "aliens." This fits into the Geoff Johns notion of Earth hostility toward aliens.

So why, in the Leigon's time, do so many alien races look human and have the ability to interbreed with humans? Perhaps there was some earlier common ancestor: the Kryptonians were shown spewing colonies across the universe, so it's conceivable that Rimborians and Xanthusians and all the others are degenerate Kryptonian stock. Or, perhaps convergent evolution leads to the humanoid form, and interbreeding is possible through advanced 31st century science.

Anyway, Mon takes the last city (the telepathic Lanothians) to Titan. He spends four...whole...pages fighting with Jemm, Son of Saturn, for no apparent reason, then the Lanothians charm Jemm and take on the name "Titanians."

Back to Metropolis, where Jimmy Olsen laments the fact that he never had hot boy-boy Daxamite sex with Mon. We are told that Mon is ill and looks awful, but honestly I don't see it -- he looks fine, except for the occasional discreet cough (and a poignant panel where he pretends to be weak just to get a hug out of Conner). Jimmy, who seems remarkably understanding about that whole leave-me-to-get-shot-and-float-face-down-in-Metropolis-harbor-for-two-months-until-the-giant-slug-resuces-me thing, gives Mon the location of a hidden Atlantic Ocean base where the General Lane's gorilla scientist (yes, there's a gorilla) is hiding out. Incidentally, the gorilla's name is Calomar. We learn the secret that the writer has been keeping from us for no good reason, that Calomar's also been studying a Daxamite woman.

Who is Calomar and where did he get a Daxamite woman? A footnote refers us to Human Defense Corps #2 (2003). Guess I have to visit the back-issue bins.

Anyway, Mon rescues the Daxamite (whom he has left to be tortured by Calomar this whole time because...um...he had other things on his mind? He was trying to emulate Superman, and figured behaving like an asshole was the best way? Because the writer wanted to save this surprise until the end of the interminable series?) (I mean, seriously, couldn't he have rescued the woman before heading out to seed the universe? The rescue took him all of 23 seconds.) We are left to figure out that the reason Calomar was so interested in Daxamite boy-parts is because he'd already had an eyeful of Daxamite girl-parts, and he wanted to compare. Seems to me, based on Billi Harper and the numerous Human boys Mon-El has fooled around with, that there can't be that much of a difference between Human boy-parts and Daxamite boy-parts -- and that both are probably similar to gorilla boy-parts -- so Calomar's curiosity looks awfully prurient.

Anyway. Mon puts the Daxamite woman aboard his repaired rocketship (which Conner repaired for him). She tells Mon that "Lar Gand, the Wanderer" is a hero and a legend on Daxam, well-known among those, like her, who "seek the stars." She came to Earth to find him. Mon answers, "Well, chippie, you found me, now get out of here and leave me alone with my boy-toy Conner, we've only got a few minutes for a few dozen super-speed quickies before lead poisoning kills me."

Suprise, in pops Chameleon Boy -- grown-up Chameleon Boy, fulfilling the last task in Brande's will. Cham explains that the Phantom Zone has "been recreated, but it's locked off from the 21st century. That's how it has to be." How come? Because that's what the writer says, that's how come. Because we already know that Mon has to spend 900-odd years in the Zone, and why not torment him further by rubbing in the fact that it's going to be at least the 22nd century before he can get out?

Does Cham say, "Hey, buddy, step into this time sphere, I'll zap you to the 29th century and then we'll pop you in the Phantom Zone for a few years, just long enough to satisfy history, I promise it won't be long"? Does Cham say, "I am a caring and compassionate hero in my own right, and there's no way I'm going to leave you to suffer for nearly a thousand years because my dead father said so"? Does Cham say, "I represent the Legion of Super-Heroes, a group powerful enough to defeat gods, rewrite history, and bring deliverance to all who suffer, and I am not going to allow you to spend a thousand years in torment no matter what"? No. Cham says, "Hey, sorry about the suffering and torment, wish I could give you some concrete hope, but wotthehell, it'll all be over sometime in the future. Now get in the Torment Zone and leave me alone with my boy-toy Conner, we've only got a few hours for some hot Durlan sex."

Mon goes into the Zone and whiles away the centuries clinging to hope. Finally, after six panels (each one lasting about 160 years), a hand reaches in and pulls him out -- it's Superboy (Kal) and the teenage Legion.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Isn't it nice to see Lyle and Condo, if only for a moment? Good to see that the deceased Legionnaires aren't being forgotten.


It is not stated exactly when Mon was released from the Zone. It should have been the 30th century, but saying that would've been too confusing for readers, I guess.

The teen Legionnaires who welcome Mon to the future are Brainiac 5, Cosmic Boy, Chameleon Boy, Invisible Kid (Lyle), Lightning Lad, Sun Boy, and Triplicate Girl.  In Classic continuity, there were a few others who were already members when Mon-El was first released from the Zone in Adventure #300: Bouncing Boy, Colossal Boy, Phantom Girl, Shrinking Violet, Star Boy, Supergirl, and Ultra Boy. When Mon joined permanently, in Adventure #305, Lightning Lad was dead.

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BOOSTER GOLD #32 (7/10)

"Tense Future!"

ROLL CALL: 

Emerald Empress

CUTE BOYS: Booster's kinda cute. As is Rip Hunter.

Booster goes to to the future -- specifically, to Daxam during the heart of the Great Darkness Saga, when Darkseid has given super-powers to the entire Daxamite populations, and they're all using their heat vision to reshape the planet into the form of Darkseid's head. While he's there, he runs into the Emerald Empress and brings back Doctor Fate's helmet (to keep it out of Darkseid's hands) and a little girl he rescued.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: According to Rip Hunter, Darkseid conquered Daxam on Thursday, April 8, 3082. This is so wrong. First, April 8, 3082 is going to be a Saturday...look at any calendar. Second, 3082 is deep, deep in the 31st century. The Great Darkness took place in the 30th century. He means 2982. Except, of course, he means 2984, which is when the Great Darkness took place in Classic and 5-Year-Gap continuity.

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R.E.B.E.L.S. #16 (7/10)

"What Happens in Vega... Part 2"

ROLL CALL (Major):

Adam Strange, Amon Hakk, Bounder, Captain Comet, Ciji, Starfire, Vril Dox, Wildstar, Xylon


ROLL CALL (Cameos):

Garryn Bek (flashback cameo), Lobo (flashback cameo), Lyrissa Mallor (flashback cameo), Stealth (flashback cameo), Strata (flashback cameo)

CUTE BOYS: Adam Strange, Captain Comet, Vril Dox

Dox and L.E.G.I.O.N. are settling in on Rann, which is now located where Tamaran used to be. In the process, he's making lots of enemies within and without the Vega system.

BITS OF L.E.G.I.O.N.NAIRE BUSINESS: Dox establishes that he was cloned from the original Brainiac, "solely to assist his quest for knowledge." That clinches it: this time around, the original Brainiac is flesh-and-blood, not a robot/android/whatever.

Dox also recounts the origin of L.E.G.I.O.N. from the Starlag prison to the founding of the group. It's nice to see the original crew, if only in one flashback panel, but I miss Telepath. And wasn't there a Durlan intimately involved? One who, once upon a time, moved to the 30th century and became R.J. Brande? I'm assuming that didn't happen in this continuity (please, gods, don't let that have happened in this continuity), but surely the Durlan was there? (OTOH, he's a Durlan, so he could be in the picture. How would we know?)

Blackfire's identification bubble got mixed up with Wildstar's. It's Wildstar has powers of flight, energy projection,  and interstellar tracking; Blackfire's powers are flight, strength, and energy projection. Wildstar's homeworld of Starhaven is given correctly, but Blackfire hails from Tamaran, not Starhaven.

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Week of 5 May 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

I did not see any Legion content in DC Comics this week. The silver lining is that the Legion has managed to avoid participating in War of the Supermen. Dodged that bullet, eh?

THE BOYS #42 (5/10)
"The Innocents Part Three"
ROLL CALL: Auntie Sis, Bobby Badoing (not-Bouncing-Boy), Kid Camo (not-Chameleon-Boy), Klanker (not-Ferro-Lad), Ladyfold, Malchemical (not-Metamorpho), Stool Shadow (not-Phantom-Girl)
CUTE BOYS: Kid Camo, Malchemical, two superheroes in a compromising position with Starlight, and Hamish is starting to grow on me

I can't say that I am at all ready to start reading The Boys, but the whole meta-commentary is fascinating. (The Boys is a meta- type of comic, with all kinds of commentary on the concept of super-heroes and the super-hero universe.) I wonder if Superduper (their Legion analog) was inspired by overhearing some know-it-all comic fan say "The Legion? They're so retarded." Is part of the meta-commentary that this is how the Legion is viewed in the wider fan community?

If so, I hope Superduper manages to kick everyone's ass.

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Free Comic Book Day 1 May 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

WAR OF THE SUPERMEN #0 (6/10)
"Fillng in the Blanks"

ROLL CALL: Mon-El, also Superboy (Conner), Supergirl
CUTE BOYS: Chris (looking real grown-up), Conner, Jimmy Olsen (all dripping wet & tuff-looking), Mon

Basically a catch-up story that gives a basic recap of Brainiac, World of New Krypton, and Last Stand of New Krypton (minus any Legion involvement, which would certainly have made the story better). If these 9 pages had appeared two years ago, they would have spared a whole lot of misery. Now if only they would publish an additional page or two summarizing War of the Supermen, we wouldn't have to slog thought that almost certain train wreck.

If you want to see Kal-El fighting Zod and a bunch of Kryptonians, Smallville does it a lot better. And with more cute boys.

Astonishingly, there are two stories in this issue, and neither one of them includes a gorilla or any other sort of ape.

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Week of 28 April 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

ACTION #889 (6/10)
"Captain Atom: Finale"

ROLL CALL: Mon-El (image), Mordru
CUTE BOYS: Mon-El, Zatara (and don't miss Chris Kent being all darkly enigmatic in the first story)

The Captain Atom storyline comes to a conclusion with Mirabai dead and guest star Mordru happy (or as happy as he ever gets).

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SUPERMAN #699 (6/10)
"Last Stand on New Krypton Part Eight: Irony in Ire"

ROLL CALL:Brainiac 5, Chameleon Boy, Element Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Quislet, Sensor Girl, Star Boy/Starman, Tellus, also Superboy (Conner), Supergirl
CUTE BOYS: Conner, Jan, Kandorian Soldier, Mon, Tenzil

The Penultimate chapter, and boy is that a relief.

All right, everybody take a deep breath. Here's what happens: Superman and Zod fight Brainiac's troops and then Brainiac himself. Superman goes in search of Kandor. Meanwhile, the Legionnaires go in search of Mo-El and the other bottled cities. Brainy and Supergirl go to meet Superman at Kandor.

Mon-El, unconscious and with a tube down his throat (oh baby!) slips into a nine-panl-grid and remembers his captivity under General Lane and the conversation with Conner where Mon asked him to repair Mon's spaceship. Various mysteries are re-stated (like how Lane knew details about Daxamite physiology, why the gorilla was fascinated with Mon's genitals, and why Mon wanted a rocket). None of these mysteries are answered, of course.

Mon awakens, he and the Legionnaires defeat Brainiac's bad guys. Meanwhile, Supes gives Kandor to Supergirl and sends her with Brainy to take the city to safety and re-enlarge it. Conner, trapped in the bottle, goes along.

Mon and the Legionnaires find the bottled cities. They tell Mon that they are leaving with the cities, and that Mon must come with them. (They keep calling the bottled cities "worlds," which they so aren't.) Brainy enlarges Kandor, Conner comes flying out to greet him and Supergirl. Brainiac beats up on Zod until Supes shows up. Meanwhile, Luthor sets down the bottled city he stole and uses his iPod to start it enlarging. (With Kandor, the bottle is actually a force field; with this city, the bottle is obviously glass. Weird.)

Mon displays his legendary loyalty by agreeing to desert Superman and run off with the Legionnaires. You can tell that he's impressed by the cute boys, and thinking of the erotic possibilities of a guy who can change into anything at all. He so thoroughly turns his back on Supes that he asks Jeckie to change his costume to eliminate the "S" shield, going back to his classic look. (Huh? Since when does Jeckie have the ability to transform physical objects?)

The bottled city continues enlarging, and bursts through Brainiac's ship from the inside.

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SUPERMAN: LAST STAND OF NEW KRYPTON #3 (6/10)
"Last Stand on New Krypton Part Nine: This is the Way the World Ends"

ROLL CALL:Brainiac 5, Chameleon Boy, Element Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Quislet, Sensor Girl, Star Boy/Starman, Tellus, also Superboy (Conner), Supergirl

CUTE BOYS: Conner, Jan, Mon, Tenzil

Gah, the end at last! Except...not really.

Let's see...Brainiac's ship comes crashing down, and all the rats are leaving the ship. Mon -- who agreed last issue to desert Kal with the Legionnaires, announces that he's not going to desert Kal. But Kal tells him "Your place...your destiny...is with the Legion. Go." So he goes. The Legionnaires and Mon go flying away, and all the remaining bottled cities come flying after tham. (Who's doing that? Tellus with his telekinesis? Starman creating a gravity wave that carries them? Matter-Eater Lad with his previously-unsuspected ability to make bottled cities fly?) Mon & the Legion fly into space, out of the story entirely, and presumably into the next issue of Adventure. Or something.

Superman, Supergirl, Conner, and a bunch of Kandorians take ten...whole...pages to bring Brainiac's ship down in the middle of Kandor. Brainy stops the enlarging city, shrinks it, and pops it into a bottle where, presumably, it sits to this day. Hooray, Kandor is saved and an innocent city is returned to hellish captivity!

Supes was gored by the wreckage of Brainiac's ship, with pointy pieces of metal sticking through his guts and blood everywhere. Brainy summons Conner to open one of Supes' veins (because there's nothing nearby sharp enough to pierce Superman's skin, not even those sharp pieces of metal that...er...pierced Superman's skin) and donate blood. Then Brainy uses "synthesized yellow sun" to power up Superman and heal him.

Meanwhile, Brainiac snaps Luthor's neck and is confronted by Zod. Zod, the master tactician who takes no chances in protecting his people, uses a red sun gun to take away his own super-powers so that he can face Brainiac one-on-one. (Brianiac's ability to hit the invulnerable Supes hard enough to raise bruises of course means that an unpowered Zod would be Kandorian jam at the first punch, but things like super-strength and invulnerability seem to come and go as convenient for the writer.) Against all odds and common sense, Zod brings Brainiac to his knees, but Superman intervenes before Zod can execute Brainiac.

As Supes and Brainiac are arguing, Brainiac 5 steps forward and teleports away with Brainiac. We next see Brainy in a time sphere with Brainiac tied up behind him.

Zod is acclaimed by the Kandorians as their savior. It turns out that Luthor was really a robot, surprise! The real Luthor is still on Earth with General Lane. And the War of the Supermen begins soon.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Brainy's "synthetic yellow sun" is probably based on R.J. Brande's star-making technology. (Incidentally, in the panel immediately after Brainy flashes Supes, look at the expressions on their faces...and at Superman's trousers. You can almost hear Brainy thinking "Is that a yellow sun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?")

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Today's Shopping Trip

Today I was at the comic stores, and I picked up a couple of things. None of them are new, but they're definitely of interest.

First, I found a Heroclix figure of Bouncing Boy. Some Heroclix leave a little to be desired, but this one is great. Here he is on the dashboard:

(click to enlarge)

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Next, I found Superman #214 (2/1969), "The Ghosts That Haunted Superman." In the story, Superman is haunted by ghosts of three of his deceased foes: Zha-Vam, Metallo, and the Composite Superman. In case you don't remember, the Composite Superman had all the powers of the Legionnaires, even though he'd never been to the 30th century. Here he menaces Superman with Element Lad's powers:

(click to enlarge)

On the next page, he uses Star Boy's powers.

But that's not the end of the Legion interest. The "ghosts," you see, are not really supernatural entitites; they are Nador, an alien kid with amazing powers including shape-shifting and levitation. Nador wanted to join "an exclusive interplanetary club" called the Omega Commandos. He demonstrated his powers to the members, but they laughed at him because he was so funny-looking. Then they sent him to Earth to prank Superman; if he succeeded, then he would be accepted into the club.

Nador's tryout looks eerily similar to Legion tryouts:

(click to enlarge)

The story ends happily: Superman accompanies Nador to the Omega Commandos' headquarters. By getting Superman to come to see them, Nador earned enormous cred and the Commandos accepted him as part of their fruity little club. There's even a Legion-worthy moral: Superman thinks to himself, "I think these youths have learned that it's not what a person looks like that's important, but what he is! And that's a moral everyone should remember!"

Interplanetary youth club, super-powers, intitiation stunts involving Kal-El, underdog triumphs, moral lessons learned -- sure sounds like a Legion story to me!

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The last thing I found has no Legion connection at all, but is definitely of interest. I got World's Finest #195 (8/1970), which reprints a Congo Bill story originally published in Action #247 (12/1958): "The Riddle of the Super-Zoo." This story features Congo Bill's young boyfriend, Janu the Jungle Boy, who was apparently introduced in Action #191 (4/1954). (Janu was referred to as Bill's "ward" or "adopted son" -- and I'm sure he was, by the Law of the Jungle. Wink wink, nudge nudge.) Janu definitely falls into the cute boys category:

Unfortunately, it seems Janu did not come to a good end. According to Wikipedia, in a 1994 miniseries Janu became corrupt, betrayed Congo Bill, and took over his identity. Bill fought Janu to the death. Why is it always the pretty ones?

Congo Bill went on to serve (as Congorilla) in the Justice League with Mon-El. But Bill's transformation into Congorilla didn't happen until Action #248, the issue following the one in which this story appeared. I wonder how young Janu reacted when his companion of many years became a giant ape?

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Week of 21 April 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #44 (6/10)
"Devil in the Details"
ROLL CALL: No Legionnaires
CUTE BOYS: Sebastian Faust, Starman (Mikaal)

Don't bother with this one: Apparently, Mon-El is no longer in the Justice League. No explanation is given. To be fair, they don't have to explain anything; it's not like readers are going to be saying "What happened to Mon-El?" During his entire tenure in the JLA, Mon-El did virtually nothing; it took a pretty keen-eyed reader to notice that he was there at all.

Don't feel bad for Mon: he has escaped the clutches of one pretty inept writer.

Interestingly, three pages of Justice Society of America seem to have crept into the middle of this issue. It makes about as much sense as the rest of the story.

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R.E.B.E.L.S. #15 (6/10)
"What Happens in Vega..."
ROLL CALL: Adam Strange, Amon Haak, Captain Comet, Ciji, Starfire, Strata (mentioned but not pictured), Tribulus, Vril Dox, Wildstar, Xylon
CUTE BOYS: Adam Strange, Captain Comet, Nightwing (Dick Grayson), Two of the Tamaranian pirates ain't bad-looking, really

Despero tries to execute Starro but mucks in up (Vril Dox would've succeeded). Starfire, jilted by Dick Grayson, mopes around the Vega system. Meanwhile, Dox realizes that L.E.G.I.O.N. needs a new base, since Maltus is too crowded with Dox-haters. He surveys the now-dead planet Rann, and figures out how to resurrect it and move it to the Vega system (because, presumably, he won't find any enemies there?)

BITS OF L.E.G.I.O.N.NAIRE BUSINESS: Although Starfire has no interaction with L.E.G.I.O.N. in this issue, on the cover she is wearing a L.E.G.I.O.N. symbol, so I'm including her in the roll call.

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SUPERGIRL #52 (6/10)
"Last Stand of New Krypton Part Seven: Distractions"

ROLL CALL: Brainiac 5,  Quislet, also: Superboy (Conner), Supergirl
CUTE BOYS: Brainiac 5 (although he needs a haircut again), Conner, Assorted Kandorians

Most of the issue involves Brainy and Supergirl as they attempt to disable Brainiac's force field. But the real story is this Supergirl's place in the history of the DC universe, specifically in relation to the Legion(s).

Here's what we knew (or thought we knew) going into this issue:

1. This version of Sueprgirl/Kara spent some time in the 31st century of the Earth-Prime universe, where she was a member of the Earth-Prime Legion. She returned to the present without any memory of her adventures in the future.

2. In the current (Retro) Legion, where the Legion's history largely parallels that of the Classic Legion, Supergirl was an on-again, off-again member. She and Brainiac 5 had romantic feelings for one another. When Supergirl died in the Crisis on Infinite Earths, Brainy took it hard and has grieved ever since.

3. The current version of Supergirl has not (a) been a member of the Retro Legion or (b) died (or even participated) in the Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Ever since Legion of 3 Worlds, fans have been waiting to see how Supergirl fits into the history of the Retro Legion.

So here's what we learned during this issue:

1. In the Retro Legion, just as in the Classic Legion, Superboy and Supergirl were given a post-hypnotic suggestion to forget certain details of their visits to the future. Brainy suggests that Supergirl might have already visited the Legion (and met him) but has no memory of this. There is a promise that this will be explained in Supergirl Annual #2, due out this Fall.

2. Near the end of the issue, Brainy thinks, "Someday she'll come to the future and meet the younger me. We'll fall in love." This suggests that Supergirl has not yet visited the Legion.

So there we are. Two possible explanations of Supergirl's place in the Retro Legion. Supposedly all ambiguity will be resolved this Fall. And you know what, I can live with that. In fact, it's kinda neet: it's now established that this Supergirl's first meeting with this Brainiac 5 was right now, during the Last Stand of New Krypton. (Whereas this Brainiac 5's first meeting with this Supergirl will presumably be in Supergirl Annual #2. Time travel is like that.)

Still unexplained: How this Supergirl relates to the Crisis on Infinite Earths. In current continuity, the Crisis happened in this Supergirl's past. The Supergirl who died in the Crisis was Linda Lee Danvers, whereas this Supergirl is Linda Lang.

Retro-Brainy never said that Supergirl (Linda Lang) died in the Crisis, only that she died. Given the complexities of time travel, it's possible that Linda Lang died at the fine old age of 536, and that would still give Brainy plenty of opportunity to mourn. But that doesn't seem likely: I think it's plain that Brainy's grief is for the lost potential, for the future that he will never have with Supergirl. Essentially, the emotional impact almost demands that Supergirl died young.

So forget the Crisis. Instead, I would like to suggest that in current continuity, Supergirl will die while on a mission with Brainy. It doesn't have to be a Legion mission; it could be another crossover event. In any case, if Brainy is actually there when Kara/Linda Lang dies, that would fully explain the depth and finality of his grief.  [Come to think of it, that explains Brainy's grief even better than in the Classic Legion: it never really made sense for Brainy to be so upset over a death that was historic fact to him.]

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: One of the many full-page advertisements in this issue shows Yildiray Cinar's stunning cover for the upcoming Legion of Super-Heroes #1. A beefy, brawny hand bears both a Green Lantern Ring and a Legion Flight Ring. There's been a lot of speculation about whose hand this is. Here's my guess: It's Myg's apprentice from Lythyl, last seen in L3W. Everybody thought he would be the next Karate Kid; I'm guessing that he will also be the next Green Lantern.

We'll know next month....
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SUPERMAN/BATMAN #71 (6/10)
"The Big Noise Part 4: The Final Solution"

The Durlan from the past is defeated and left for dead, although a tentacle survives, so he'll be back. The Legion connection is only tangential.

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Week of 14 April 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

ADVENTURE #10/513 (6/10)
"Last Stand of New Krypton Part Six: Divided, Conquerable"
ROLL CALL: Chameleon Boy, Element Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Quislet, Starman/Star Boy (also: Superboy [Conner])

CUTE BOYS:  Conner, Jan, Mon-El, Tenzil (and don't miss mostly-naked Az-Rel in bondage in the second story)

This issue comes with two covers. The variant one is the only place where Sensor Girl is pictured this time around.

Quislet rescues Superman from falling to his death. Meanwhile, Starman, Chameleon Boy, Element Lad, and Matter-Eater Lad dash off to find the bottle cities, leaving Conner to be ambushed by Luthor. Conner winds up in the re-bottled Kandor. Meanwhile, Mon-El is sedated and hallucinating. General Zod and his crack suicide team break out of Kandor to attack Brainiac.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: After being transported to Kandor and losing his Kryptonian powers, Conner uses his Legion flight ring to fly. He thinks, "...Never used it to actually fly before. It tingles a little while it works...never knew."

Of course, Conner's flight ring is from Earth-247; we don't know if flight rings tingle in current continuity. (Come to think of it, XS and Gates also have Earth-247 flight rings - are they automatically compatible with current ones? And what about the Earth-Prime Legion - is their equipment also compatibile?)

When out of his ship, Quislet looks like purplish energy with a Legion flight ring.

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Separated at Birth?

Just noticed the significance of this exchange from Superman: Last Stand of New Krypton #2 (6/10)

TELLUS: I--I thought I could employ my telepathy in tandem with that of the Lanothians to unite the Kryptonians against Brainiac as one -- but the minds of your people are inaccessible, Kal-El. Even with our combined telepathic might, we cannot affect their thoughts now. 

SUPERMAN; Something's keeping you out of their minds? 

JECKIE: What could be doing that? Something Brainiac's created--? 

TELLUS: Yes. Brainiac's created the only thing that could completely override rational thought. Fear. Abject fear.

I never realized before that Brainiac is a Republican politician.

Brainiac, Karl Rove, separated at Birth?

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Week of 7 April 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

THE BOYS #41 (4/10)
"The Innocents Part Two"
ROLL CALL: Auntie Sis, Black Hole (not-Matter-Eater-Lad), Bobby Badoing (not-Bouncing-Boy), Kid Camo (not-Chameleon-Boy), Klanker (not-Ferro-Lad), Ladyfold, Malchemical (not-Metamorpho), Stool Shadow (not-Phantom-Girl)
CUTE BOYS: Black Hole, Kid Camo, Malchemical ain't bad-looking even though he's evil

Okay, Superduper is somewhat like the Subs, not the Legion. But there's still something wholesome and noble about them, which means they don't fit into the Boys universe. Which is what I suspect the whole story is about....

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SUPERMAN: LAST STAND OF NEW KRYPTON #2 (6/10)
"Last Stand of New Krypton Part Five: Bottles and Battles"
ROLL CALL:Brainiac 5, Chameleon Boy, Element Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Quislet, Sensor Girl, Star Boy/Starman, Tellus - also, Superboy (Conner), Supergirl
CUTE BOYS: Conner, Jan, Mon, Tenzil, Tiny Kandorians

Brainy's here, and he gets everyone through Brainiac's force field ("my ancestor's pitiful force field technology"). The Lanothians are no help at all. But hooray, that bothersome Kandor is back in the bottle. I say, put the stopper in and lock it up in the Fortress for a while.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Notice how Mon-El's hair has grown out quite a bit since last week. It looks good.

Jeckie drops the Sensor Girl mask. It actually makes the whole costume work better...it's kinda a blend of Sensor Girl and Princess Projectra.
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Original Thinking on the Legion's Origin Story

Today, while browsing the back-issue boxes at Twilite Zone, I found Secret Origins #6 (2/1974) and decided to rescue it. Well, not only does this comic reprint the Legion origin story from Superboy #147, but it also has a text page, written by E. Nelson Bridwell, that gives some information about that story.

Here's what it says:

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The Legion origin story was first published in Giant Superboy #47 (G-47) - May-June, 1968. When we began to get material together for an all-Legion issue, we discovered that thre had never actually ben an origin dreamed up for that organization. So I got busy and wrote one.

There have been some drastic changes in the origin stories of the individual heroes, though, in the first Legion tale, which appeared in Adventure Comics #247 (April, 1958). Saturn Girl said, "The scientists of Saturn, who are experts in telepathy, taught me how to read minds and also cast my mental commands anywhere." Cosmic Boy thought, "Special serums gave me magnetic eyes of super-power." And Lightning Boy (not called Lightning Lad in the story) revealed, "My hands are like the positive and negative poles of a battery. Each time I clap them together, a super-lightning flash leaps forth."

In Superman #147 (August, 1961) (do you get the feeling that there are a lot of 47's connected with the Legion?), the adult Legion and the Legion of Super-Villains were introduced. In this one, Lightning Lord said that he and his brother, Lightning Man (formerly Lightning Lad), had gained their power while exploring some woods on the planet Korbal. A lightning monster had blasted them, transferring some of its power into them. By this time, Lightning Man was no long [sic] clapping his hands to get lightning, but Cosmic Man was still using his magnetic eyes.

He was using his hands, though, in Giant Superman Annual #4 (1961), when a special feature on the origins of the Legionnaires was published. Lightning Lad's origin was the one given in Superman: "Lightning Lad gained mastery of lightning when a blast from a lightning monster on the planet Korbal freakishly electrified his body." As for the others, "Cosmic Boy possesses the power of super-magnetism, which he inherited from his parents on the planet Braal. Evolution has given Braalians the power to magnetically battle metal monsters who roam their world." And "Saturn Girl comes from Saturn, where all people can perform amazing mental feats."

In Adventure #308 (May, 1963), after Lightning Lad was killed in action (he was later revived), his sister, Lightning Lass, impersonated him. Two versions of his origin were given. In one, he was in a space-flier that ran out of power, forcing him to land on Krobal. He tried to get the lightning monsters to shoot their bolts at it to recharge it, but instead, they aimed at him, from all sides. This neutralized the bolts, charging the youth with lightning power greater than theirs. (Absurdly, he was already wearing his lightning insignia in this origin.) Toward the end of this story, the scene was repeated, but with the addition of his sister. Not only was the early account by Lightning Lord ignored, but he himself was completely omitted!

I had added R.J. Brande in a story I wrote for Adventure #350. I did my best to tie together all the loose ends in writing the origin reprinted in this issue.

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Week of 31 March 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

ADVENTURE #9/512 (5/01)
"Superman Last Stand of New Krypton Part Four: Namesake"
ROLL CALL: Bouncing Boy, Brainiac 5, Chameleon Girl, Colossal Boy, Cosmic Boy, Dawnstar, Duplicate Damsel (?), Gates, Gates, Invisible Kid (Jacques), Lightning Lass, Night Girl, Phantom Girl, Polar Boy, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Shrinking Violet, Sun Boy, Timber Wolf, Ultra Boy, Wildfire, XS
ROLL CALL (L.E.G.I.O.N.): Lyrl Dox, Vril Dox
CUTE BOYS: Brainy, Chuck, Brek, Dirk, Gim, Jo, Lyrl (shirtless, but still needs a haircut), Rokk

NOTE: There are two covers: both of them have Legionnaires prominently featured.

Amid more exposition regarding the four previous Brainiacs, and a red wave of universal destruction approaching Earth, Briany works to pierce the time barrier and go back to the 21st century. All of the Legionnaires help him, each in their own way. At the end of the story, he vanishes into time, muttering "Long Live the Legion."

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Notice how Lydda and Rokk are holding hands; it's good to see that their romance is back on again. I was worried; during L3W it seemed as if they were on the outs. It's nice to see Rokk happy, although one of the boys could probably make him happier.

I don't recognize those two indistinct figures sitting to the left of Gates. I suppose they could be Duplicate Damsel and Lightning Lad, who are otherwise absent from this story. Also unaccounted for: Blok and White Witch, who are probably still on the Sorcerer's World; Dream Girl and Tyroc, who are still among the missing; and adult Mon-El, whose presence in this storyline would be too confusing for the novice readers they're trying to bring aboard.

ADDED LATER: Brainy mentions that the original Brainiac may have "traveled through time to the 31st century to plague us now as Pulsar Stargrave." This is a reference to the villain who first appeared in SUPERBOY & THE LSH #233, and did indeed claim to be the original Brainiac. It's a nice nod to continuity.

Incidentally, this time around the original Brainiac does not seem to be an android any longer. They haven't said so explicitly, but it's implied -- and fits in with Geoff Johns' penchant for going back to the early versions of characters. (When he first appeared, several months after the Legion's debut, Brainiac was an alien but definitely flesh-and-blood. When our own beloved Brainiac 5 first appeared, he introduced himself as the great-great grandson of Brainiac. It was only later that they retconned the whole "Brainiac adopted a Coluan boy" dodge.

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ADVENTURE #512/9 (5/01)
"Superman Last Stand of New Krypton: Unify"
ROLL CALL: Chameleon Boy, Element Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Quislet, Sensor Girl, Star Boy/Starman, Tellus (also Superboy [Conner], Supergirl)
CUTE BOYS: Conner, Jan, Kryptonian Laborer, Tenzil

None of the Legionnaires does much, except Quislet Tellus [what was I thinking?] -- who uses Supergirl's knowledge of Kryptonian society and his telepathic powers to unify some of the quarreling Kryptonians. Then they all dash off to save the bottled cities aboard Brainiac's ship.

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JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #43 (5/10)
"Rise and Fall: All Along the Watchtower"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El
CUTE BOYS: Mon-El, Starman (Mikaal), Young Aquaman, Young Green Arrow

Know what Mon-El says in this issue? Nothing. Know what Mon-El does in this issue? Nothing. Know why Mon-El is in this issue? So that Legion fans will buy it, maybe?

There are two covers for this issue, too. Both of them features Mon-El. I'm not spending $25 for the alternate one. Even Get-A-Life Boy's insane completism has a limit....

(I'll pick it up later from the back-issue bins.)

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Week of 24 March 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

SUPERMAN #698 (5/10)
"Last Stand of New Krypton Part Three: Destiny"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El, Tellus (not pictured)
CUTE BOYS: Mon-El, miscellaneous Kryptonian cannon-fodder

Superman battles Brainiac and Luthor. Meanwhile, Mon fights his way into Brainiac's ship, urged on by Tellus. The Lanothians, inhabitants of one of Brainiac's cities, telepathically moan and whine at Mon until he snatches their city away from Luthor just before Lex destroys it.

Mon, shirt ripped and muscles bulging, stands there with the Lanothian city dangling from his hand and reflects: "Can't explain the feeling...in my gut, the feeling that my destiny...part of it, anyway...why I'm here on Earth now...that it just came to pass. I was meant to save this world...and boy am I tired."

Okay, ignore the fact that he isn't technically "on Earth now." And ignore the fact that all this telepathic bothering has scrambled his mind so badly that he isn't thinking in coherent sentences (although maybe all Daxamites think in similar syntax, the way Yoda speaks funny). It's pretty obvious that this feeling Mon can't explain comes from a lingering telepathic link to the writer, who's rather clumsily providing exposition.

Top that off with the fact that the rest of the Espionage Squad is nowhere to be seen, and you can see that this isn't the best chapter in New Krypton's Last Stand.

BITS OF COLUAN BUSINESS: In the old days, Brainiac had a little white monkey named Koko. Now, Koko seems to be a whole army (clones?) of big white apes, possibly gorillas.

One of the most regrettable features of the pre-Crisis DC Comics was the tendency to put large apes into stories. History does not record a single instance in which this improved a story. Quite the opposite: large-ape stories were among the worst ever published. From Congo Bill to Titano to the time Red Kryptonite turned Superboy into a giant ape, they were uniformly awful.

We might call this Get-A-Life Boy's Second Principle of Comics: Stories with large apes are always awful. [It's worse: Large apes can even negate Get-A-Life Boy's First Principle of Comics: Putting Legionnaires into a story always makes it better.]

Writer James Robinson seems to be on a one-man crusade to demonstrate the Second Principle to a whole new generation of readers. First it was Justice League: Cry for Justice, now Last Stand of New Krypton.

I wish he'd stop. (Writing comics that I read, I mean.)

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SUPERMAN/BATMAN #70 (5/10)
"The Big Noise Part 3: Righteous Destroyer"
ROLL CALL: A time-traveling Durlan
CUTE BOYS: Possibly one of the S.T.A.R. scientists

The time-traveling Durlan is apprently from "countless millennia" in the past. So the Legion connection is a tenuous one indeed.

Besides, the story isn't that good.

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Week of 17 March 2010

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

BOOSTER GOLD #30 (5/10)
"The Tomorrow Memory Part Three"
ROLL CALL: No Legion appearances, but Booster's Legion flight ring is much in evidence
CUTE BOYS: Drew, Rip Hunter

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SUPERGIRL #51 (5/10)
"Superman: Last Stand of New Krypton Part Two: Leaders"
ROLL CALL: Chameleon Boy, Element Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Quislet, Sensor Girl, Starman/Star Boy, Tellus -- also: Superboy (Conner), Supergirl
CUTE BOYS: Conner, Mon-El, Assorted Kryptonian Cannon-Fodder

Zod's Kryptonian guards got the drop on the Legion. What's up with that? They knocked out Sensor Girl and Element Lad,...huh? Tellus was groggy...I repeat, huh? They even knocked out Quislet, although exactly how that's possible is a puzzler.

Come on, folks. Those last four Legionnaires could defeat just about any small number of Krytponians with their hands (or whatever) tied behind their backs. As I said last week, Element Lad could turn the surroundings to Kryptonite and/or Sensor Girl could put them into instant sensory deprivation and/or Starman/Star Boy could make them all so heavy they couldn't move and/or Quislet could do enough extreme damage to keep the Kryptonians very, very busy. And Tellus is a telepath who has already demonstrated the ability to make Mon-El ineffective. And don't tell me they could apprehend Chameleon Boy, or keep Matter-Eater Lad in confinement.

Ah, well, it's all so that Supergirl and Conner can have their turn in the spotlight.

You know, I don't think I care for these Kryptonians much. Supergirl's mother is a bitch, General Zod and his people are just plain bad, and the rest of them are pretty uninteresting. Put them all back in the bottle, I say.

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REALM OF KINGS: IMPERIAL GUARD #5 (of 5) (5/10)
(No title)
ROLL CALL: not-Brainiac-5, not-Ferro-Lad, not-Lightning-Lad, not-Phantom-Girl, not-Saturn-Girl, not-Star-Boy, not-Sun-Boy, not-Superboy (in his not-Mon-El costume), not-Timber-Wolf, not-Tyr, not-Ultra-Boy, a whole bunch of cameos by other not-Legionnaires
CUTE BOYS: Nuh-uh.


They do stuff, they fight, they shout stuff, there is much overblown dialogue, one of them dies (and wow, have a lot of them died), and it's over. Whew.


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MISSED THIS ONE TWO WEEKS AGO:


THE BOYS #40 (2010)
"The Innocents Part One"
ROLL CALL (Superduper): Auntie Sis, Bobby Badoing (not-Bouncing-Boy), Kid Camo, Klanker (not-Ferro-Lad), Ladyfold, Stool Shadow (not-Phantom-Girl)
CUTE BOYS: Black Hole isn't bad-looking, and neither is Kid Camo


Another take on the Legion by a non-DC comic company, in this case Dynamite. Check out what Legion Omnicom has to say about this one.


Warning: The universe of the Boys is not a pretty one. Definite adult language and content here.


The story continues in THE BOYS #41, due in two weeks.