Saturday, December 31, 2011

Week of 9 November 2011

(This is the first of a series of catch-up posts from the past two months [gasp!]) Things have calmed down a little, so I should be more up-to-date soon. Thanks for being patient.)

LEGION LOST 3 (2011/ 01)
"Red Rage"

Chameleon Girl, Dawnstar, Tellus, Timber Wolf, Tyroc, Wildfire

Brin, Jo, Kal-El, Troy, various police officers

Brin narrates this time. The hypertaxis plague continues to spread. While Dawnstar is off trying to track down Alastor, Brin suggests contacting some of the 21st century heroes they know, but Tyroc says they don't dare expose them to the plague. As they debate, they are interrupted by a Coincidentally Convenient News Broadcast (what a fresh plot device!) that sends Brin out to track an Okaaran rdrayyj attacking locals.

Brin finds the critter in a shopping mall (hey, I wonder if Inferno from the Earth-247 Legion is hanging around there?) and they fight for seven...long...pages -- including a bit where Brin fires his fingernails at the beast (you see, the hypertaxis has affected him as well, apparently mixing his DNA with that of a Fwangian Fingernail-Firer). Then the critter suddenly morphs into the presumed-dead Chameleon Girl. Bet nobody saw that coming!


The absolute best moment in this comic comes at the bottom of page six, when a maid interruptes Brin, Telus, Tyroc, and Wildfire in their motel room. Tellus projects a telepathic image of normality. In that image, Drake looks like a slightly dorky redhead with green shorts and a red t-shirt bearing a large yellow star. And Tellus portrays himself as a fat guy, obviously somewhat older than the others (okay, what does the maid think is going on in that room?) -- and he's wearing a t-shirt with a cartoon image of his nonhuman body and the words "ironic t-shirt."

The second best moment is...uh...I'm working on it...oh, yeah -- when the hypertaxis plague lowers Tyroc's intelligence to that of a typical comic book writer, unable to conceive of contacting Superman in any way other than walking up to him (no telepathic contact, no phone call)...or of the possibility that Superman might be able to do something from safely outside the plague zone, like, oh, I don't know, setting up quarantine? Of course, this is the New 52 universe, so maybe all the 21st century DC heroes have become unbelievably stupid. That would actually explain a lot....

The third-best moment is when, about ten or twelve pages too late, the story ends. Unfortunately, there's a threat: there's going to be a next issue.

I shouldn't be so hard on this book. It's nowhere near as bad as the original Legion Lost, either in art or in writing. The writers are working under some strange constraints: they obviously can't interact much with the mainstream DC universe, they're trying to appeal to an audience that gets impatient if two pages pass without boobs, battles, or both. And they were stuck, for some reason, with a batch of Legionnaires selected by reverse alphabetical order (Wildfire, Tyroc, Timber Wolf, did XS, the White Witch, and Ultra Boy manage to escape?)

A long, long time ago, bringing Legionnaires back to the present worked pretty well. They got Superboy out of it, and Supergirl, and there was the first Mordru story which was superb. But in recent times, bringing the Legion back to the present day has been a recipe for disaster. Especially when it involves splitting the team into two. Let's hope sales take a nosedive and this comic soon gets put out of our misery.



Brainiac 5, Chameleon Boy, Cosmic Boy, ightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Controllers, Khunds

Brainy, Garth, Rokk, Chekov (with his shirt off, no less!), Kirk, McCoy, Spock, Sulu, Security officer

Now this is a comic!

We learn more about this new universe, which seems to be a fusion of the Star Trek and Legion universes. The Controllers and the Organians are a war. as are the Klingons and the Khunds. Tyrazz, mobile homeworld of the Borg, is entering Imperial space. the Emperor, who looks like Vandal Savage from the nose down, pledges that he will protect the Imperial Planets from all threats.

The Legionnaires escape a hostile mob, and Brainy saves an essential part of the shattered time bubble. The Enterprise crew steals a shuttlecraft while Spock peruses the History Channel to find out that Earth's technology was accelerated in this universe, so that humans erupted into the galaxy before they were completely civilized.

Meanwhile, a really adorable security officer finds the wreckage of the time bubble and contacts his superior, Castellan Kajz, to inform him that a time machine has been found.

Brainy detects the chronal signature of two other temporal anomalies and the Legionnaires go after the closest one -- which turns out to be the Enterprise crew. The issue ends with the two groups facing off for the traditional battle before they become friends.


Castellan Kajz, high in the Imperial government, is a mix between Coluan and Vulcan (or possibly Romulan). In original Legion continuity, Brainiac 5's father (Brainiac 4) was named Kajz Dox.

The flying platforms used by Imperial forces are very similar to ones used by the Legion in Adventure 346/347.

This issue shipped with multiple covers. On one of them, Timber Wolf is featured as if he's part of the story. He isn't. (Another cover shows the whole Legion; most of them aren't in this story either).

Making Tyrazz the homeworld of the Borg is just brilliant.

Cham mentions that "last time we got shipwrecked, our rings were frozen, inoperable." That would have been Legion of Super-Heroes 289 (1982/07), "A Cold and Lonely Corner of Hell."


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