Week of 1 July 2009

I did not see any Legion content in DC Comics this week.

I saw super-powered Daxamites fighting against Mongul; I saw obscure Green Lanterns; I saw a Starman who wasn't Thom Kallor; I even saw Congorilla. But the only Legionnaires I saw were Superman and Supergirl. There wasn't even a Legion flight ring in evidence.

Sigh. Maybe things will get better next week.

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Week of 24 June 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

SUPERMAN #689 (8/09)
"The Tourist"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El, Tellus

Mon-El goes on a tour of the world, meets many superheroes, and gets his first kiss (what, it wasn't Kal-El? Or Mitch?)

Meanwhile, Tellus bids farewell to Harper and, presumably, the 21st century. He says, "Things need to be done. I must do them...for the good of everyone." Before he leaves, he zaps Harper with some pink energy to prepare him for "the battle you'll one day fight with your enemy the Assassin."

The remainder of the issue deals with the incomprehensible Major Lane subplot and a threat to Steel. Since none of this has any connection to the Legion, I'm trying to ignore as much of it as possible.

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Also of interest: In JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #34 (8/09), the League is fighting Starbreaker. Vixen calls him "a second-rate sun-eater" and Starbreaker responds, "A sun eater is but the larval form of my species. You tremble at the thought of of the infant, and yet you dare to challenge the adult?"

Interesting. The League faced a sun eater in FINAL NIGHT. In classic LSH continuity, sun eaters were manufactured by renegade Controllers in another universe, then used as weapons in this universe. I suppose it's possible to reconcile that with this revelation by Starbreaker. Still, it does seem odd to think of Controllers releasing something that could row up to be as powerful...and as independently sapient...as Starbreaker.

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Okay, it has nothing to do with the Legion (so far), but I have to say it: I am totally lost by what's been going on in Green Lantern and Green Lantern Corps. I get the feeling that there's a lot of information in between the lines; I just don't know what it is. I don't know if it's sloppy storytelling, or just that I'm not smart enough. Sigh.

Week of 17 June 2009

I did not see any Legion content in DC Comics this week.

There is one minor LSH connection. ACTION COMICS ANNUAL #12 (2009) tells the origin story of the new Nightwing and Flamebird, aka Christopher Kent (Lor-Zod) and Thara Ak-Var. One of the characters is a Kryptonian criminal named Dev-Em.

In classic Legion continuity, Dev-Em was a Kryptonian juvenile delinquent and Kal-El's on-again-off-again S&M buddy, before jumping forward to the 30th century to become entangled with the LSH. Dev-Em had a long and distinguished career as an agent of the Interstellar Counter-Intelligence Corps, then Giffen and the Bierbaums drove him insane with a terrible haircut and made him blow up the moon.

That was about it for Dev-Em. In current continuity he is a Kryptonian criminal incarcerated in the Phantom Zone. He has no connection to the Legion...yet.

I still have my eyes on Chris Kent/Lor-Zod/Nightwing. I'm willing to bet he hooks up with the Legion sometime.

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Week of 10 June 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

R.E.B.E.L.S. #5 (8/09)
"The Stars We Are"
ROLL CALL: Amon Hakk, Bounder, Ciji, Geotrix, Strata, Vril Dox, Wildstar
ROLL CALL (Omega Men): Broot, Darkfire, Doc, Elu, Tigorr

Lots going on this issue. Ciji reveals that she's on Dox's side. Amon Hakk goes on a mission to kill Dox. Astrild offers Dox a position as a favored lieutenant of Starro. The Dominators fight against Starro's invading troops. Dox sends Wildstar to retrieve the remnants of Silica. Dox and crew escape into hyperspace. And the Psions tell the Omega Men that their mission is to assassinate Starro.

I never thought I would be cheering for Dominators.

The blue-skinned woman with the crazy hair has a name now: Astrild Storm-daughter. She's still not very nice.

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Elsewhere in DC Comics this week, there were no appearances or references to the Legion, Mon-El, or Tellus in ACTION #878. And in FLASH: REBIRTH #3, there was a virtual family reunion of speedsters and Allen Family members: Johnny Quick, Jesse Quick, Barry Allen, Wally West, Jay Garrick, Bart Allen, Iris West Allen, Max Mercury, even cameos of Barry's parents...but is there a single panel showing Jenni, or even a mention of her? No. Guess We know how she rates, eh?

Week of 3 June 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

I did not see any Legion appearances in DC Comics this week.

However, Mon-El is mentioned in SUPERMAN: WORLD OF NEW KRYPTON #4 (8/09). Sodam Yat is among the Green Lanterns sent to investigate New Krypton. Superman says, "You're not one for pleasantries, huh, Sodam?" Sodam Yat answers, "What can I say? I'm true to my people."

"I beg to differ," Superman says. "I'm friends with one of your people -- Mon-El. In fact, I left him in Metropolis to guard the city for me." Sodam Yat frowns enigmatically.

A little later, when Superman observes that Sodam Yat looks troubled, Sodam Yat answers, "Not by anything I'm seeing. I was thinking about the Daxamite yous aid was on Earth." Replies Supes, "Mon-El, yeah, is that a problem?" Sodam Yat grins. "No. I'm just surprised to learn he's there."

So let's read between the lines here. Sodam Yat has been away from Daxam for years, and has not seen another Daxamite boy in all that time. Now he finds out that there's an eligible Daxamite hunk on Earth...immediately he thinks to himself, "Let's finish up this stupid mission so I can go to Earth, find that other Daxamite, and have mad, passionate Daxamite sex."

Oh, well. R.E.B.E.L.S. is due out next week.


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Week of 27 May 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

SUPERMAN #688 (7/09)
"The Fall and Rise of Jonathan Kent"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El, Tellus

Mon-El's powers are on-again, off-again. Doctor Light (Doctor Light?) explains that the mysterious anti-lead serum is at war with his super-powers, and that his powers will continue to fail at times convenient to the plot.

Seems to me that Supergirl had this problem once, and her father invented various devices (an exo-skeleton, then some magic power discs) that allowed her to have some measure of continuous power. And her Legion flight ring came in handy, too. Maybe Mon could use a flight ring....

In this issue Mon-El gets a little boyfriend. His name's Mitch, he works in the restaurant downstairs, and apparently he's been watching Mon pretty closely for a a while. He's obviously crushing on Jon Kent pretty badly. Who can blame him?

Mon and the Guardian break into General Lane's headquarters and rescue Tellus. So is there going to be time-paradox trouble between Mon and Tellus? I don't think so. Tellus, remember, is a telepath -- so presumably he has read Mon's mind and knows that this version of Mon-El has never met him before. I also assume that there will be some kind of telepathic jiggery-pokery so that Mon won't remember meeting Tellus (or maybe a thousand years in the Phantom Zone will take care of that.)

The bad ting is that the war between Mon's serum and his powers will continue until he dies, in a year to eighteen months. According to Doctor Light, that well-known expert on Daxamite physiology and mysterious serums. What does this mean? Well, it means that just about the time the New Krypton storyline finishes up and Supes no longer needs Mon, he'll be able to pop Mon back into the Phantom Zone and be rid of him once again.

You know, Supes is coming off as a real bastard here. No wonder the Earth-Prime version of Mon-El came out of the Zone and started punching anybody wearing the "S" symbol.

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I got my Mattel Legion figures (pictured above). Notice how the boys all have the same body, differing only in paint jobs. And once you get your figures, notice how each one has a tiny little yellow flight ring painted on the middle finger of their right hands. What attention to detail.

The three boys all have their right hands made into fists. Presumably this is so that thy can engage in action poses, punching bad guys...but it also makes it fairly easy to arrange the boys in a fairly rude tableau where they are pleasuring one another like Boy Scouts at camp (see below). I'm sure that wasn't Mattel's intention, but it's pretty cool anyway.

Week of 20 May 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel

I did not see any actual LSH appearances in DC comics this week. However....

THE BRAVE & THE BOLD #23 (7/09)
"Shadows of Tomorrow"

Booster Gold and Magog star, and Booster's Legion Flight Ring is prominent on the cover. But that's not what makes this issue of tangential interest to Legion fans. On the first page, inside Rip Hunter's lab, there are some scribblings on the blackboard. Now, longtime readers know that Rip Hunter's blackboard is a tease, supposedly showing things about the future (or possible futures).

Here are the Legion-related graffiti on Rip's blackboard this time:

BRAINIAC 5, 7 OR 12 ??!!

PROTY 1 OR PROTY II: WHICH IS GUILTY?

What does it all mean? Probably nothing.

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Meanwhile, over in SUPERGIRL, the enigmatic Superwoman turned out to be someone with no discernable connection to the Legion. Oh, no, wait, she is the sister-in-law of a Legionnaire.

Which raises an interesting question. Given the Legion's long history in the DC Multiverse(s), and their inclusion in crossover events such as Crisis on Infinite Earths, Final Night, and others -- and including L.E.G.I.O.N. and R.E.B.E.L.S. as part of the game...can anyone name some regular DC characters who have absolutely no connection with the Legion?


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Week of 13 May 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

ACTION #877 (7/09)
"The Sleepers Part 3"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El

And there he is, on a video screen on page 8: Mon-El.

Meanwhile, Chris Kent is looking good. His time in the Phantom Zone has aged him and given him the power to instantly repair shredded clothing. I don't suppose there's any chance that he'll join the Legion when this is all over, but now that he's old enough, maybe we'll get to see him and Mon-El have some "adventures" together.

I'm still a little lost in the complexities of this New Krypton/World Without Superman plot, but I trust all will be revealed in time.

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R.E.B.E.L.S. #4 (7/09)
"From Beyond"
ROLL CALL: Amon Hakk, Bounder, Ciji, Getorix, Skwaul, Strata, Vril Dox, Wildstar
ROLL CALL (Omega Men): Broot, Darkfire, Doc, Elu, Tigorr

Lots of aliens. Khunds, a Durlan, Dominators (all first introduced in Legion comics), Psions....also references to Okaarans and the Gil'Dishpan.

Some nice moments in this issue. We know that Dominators have a caste society, with status indicated by the size of the red disks on their foreheads. In a really nice touch, the Dominator Emperor's disk is so big that it covers his entire face.

And some very funny lines. "I'd repeat it, but my wife hates that word." The Durlan who threatens "Will you give me the frequency, or do I have to get ugly?" Believe me, you don't want to see a Durlan get ugly.

And there are some lovely entries from the Encyclopedia Galactica, including one that lists "the five static modes of interstellar travel" as subspace rift, stargate, transmatter jumpgate, fold space, & magic.

R.E.B.E.L.S. continues to be fun & interesting, the art is really good, and there are a lot of connections to the Legion.

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Week of 6 May 2009

I did not see any LSH content in DC comics this week.

However, Empyre Comics was having a gigantic $1-a-comic back issue sale, and I had an extra hour or so. Anyway, I picked up some of the more obscure LSH-related items on my wantlist/ For example, the four-issue SUPER POWERS miniseris from September thru December 1986. The sole LSH-related item was the appearance of Tyr (yes, the guy with the mohawk and weapon hand) as a villain.

How did the warlord of Tyrraz appear in 1986? A text page in issue #2, writeen in interview format, gave an answer of sorts:

"Yes, it does seem rather preplexing, doesn't it? But the answer is simple, really. First of all, in the 30th century time travel is akin to a trip on your subway. And secondly, if the price is right, I'll go anywhere."

I also picked up ACTION #665 (5/91) [one panel flashback showing Legionnaires and Dev-Em], SUPERMAN #65 (3/92) & #66 (4/92) [Valor in the "Panic in the Sky" storyline, THE POWER OF SHAZAM #43 (10/98) [one-panel flashback showing Thunder], and TALES OF THE LSH #340 (10/86), which was a reprint of a story that appeared a year earlier in Baxter format. At the time, I didn't buy many of the TALES comics, but now I figure they're worth picking up for the original cover art and lettercols...and, truth be told, because I am an insane completist).

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Gayest...Story...Ever

Some people just don't believe that there is any sort of gay relationship between Superboy and Mon-El. To those scoffers, I present this nostalgic look at the story that introduced Mon-El: "Superboy's Big Brother" in Superboy #89 in June 1961.

WARNING: This story was very, very gay; this discussion will get fairly explicit. If that bothers you, leave now.

The action starts as soon as Mon-El lands.

ABOVE: With Mon unconscious, Kal can't resist sticking his hands in Mon's pockets.

ABOVE: Kal uses his x-ray vision to look under Mon's clothes.

ABOVE: As Mon awakes, Kal takes his hand.

ABOVE: Mon uses the old "I was so drunk last night, I don't remember what we did" ploy. Kal plays along.

ABOVE: Kal realizes how hot Mon is.

ABOVE: Kal can't keep his hands off Mon. Can you blame him?

ABOVE: Kal enjoys having Mon enter his secret tunnel, which helps Kal to come. (I am not making this up, that's what it says.)

ABOVE: Mon keeps pointing to his mouth, hoping Kal will take the hint and give him a kiss.

ABOVE: Kal can't wait to take Mon to meet Mom and Dad. The boys finish up what they were doing in the basement, and Kal puts his clothes on.

ABOVE: The sight of so much meat hanging there reminds Kal of Mon, and inspires Kal to demonstrate how well he can blow.

ABOVE: Kryptonian Eye for the Daxamite Guy: Kal gets Mon some cool clothes and dresses him up. "Daddy" Kent falls under Mon's spell and can't resist undressing him.

ABOVE: Hey, Mon, let me teach you about the earth custom called "doggy style."

ABOVE: Getting ready for bed, Mon undresses while Kal sneaks a closer peek.

ABOVE: "An hour later, when Mon-El falls asleep..." Wonder what went on during that hour? (I am not making this up.)

ABOVE: Kal has a great new toy that the boys can play with in bed. Sure, it involves a little pain, but that can be fun when you're invulnerable. The safe word is "Serum XY-4."

ABOVE: Mon feels great after a "wonderful" night. Kal hangs around outside the bathroom while Mon's in there; Mon leaves the door open. I've seen porn videos that start out this way....

ABOVE: Mon bends over in front of Kal...who takes full advantage of the situation.

Mon suggests a three-way with Kal and Lana, but Kal is in no mood to share.

Mon can't wait to strip and have another go at Kal's secret tunnel. (I swear, I am not making this up.)

ABOVE: Won't Mon be surprised when Kal's balls land on him?

ABOVE: Is that a petrified tree trunk, or is Kal just glad to see Mon? And isn't it sweet how Mon is concerned that both boys arrive at the same time?

ABOVE: "Send me to the Phantom Zone" is Daxamite slang for really spectacular gay sex.

ABOVE: Mon's huge, hard "bat" makes contact with one of Kal's balls. Both boys are enjoying this.

ABOVE: Now it's Kal's turn to swing his hard, long pole around while Mon admires the enormous package.

ABOVE: Two big, long tubes with huge, swollen heads spring up.

ABOVE: First Kal wants to talk about how the boys could jack the monster, but then he has a better idea: "You take one head! I'll take the other!"

ABOVE: Two giant, swollen heads erupt, spitting hot stuff all over the two boys. (I am NOT making this up.)

ABOVE: Mon is having great fun as he touches one of the heads and it explodes. Meanwhile, Kal sees some balls that catch his interest.

ABOVE: Now Mon wants Kal to finish first. Isn't that sweet?

ABOVE: As the boys are in the shower together, Kal's balls make Mon gag. Mon is so overwhelmed by the fun that he can hardly move.

ABOVE: After all the excitement, Kal tenderly cradles Mon in his arms.

ABOVE: Kal gets another toy so that he and Mon can role-play being prisoners together.

ABOVE: Unfortunately, when all is said and done, Kal is a slut as well as a tease. Once he's done with his one-night trick, he never wants to see or hear from Mon again.