Gayest...Story...Ever

Some people just don't believe that there is any sort of gay relationship between Superboy and Mon-El. To those scoffers, I present this nostalgic look at the story that introduced Mon-El: "Superboy's Big Brother" in Superboy #89 in June 1961.

WARNING: This story was very, very gay; this discussion will get fairly explicit. If that bothers you, leave now.

The action starts as soon as Mon-El lands.

ABOVE: With Mon unconscious, Kal can't resist sticking his hands in Mon's pockets.

ABOVE: Kal uses his x-ray vision to look under Mon's clothes.

ABOVE: As Mon awakes, Kal takes his hand.

ABOVE: Mon uses the old "I was so drunk last night, I don't remember what we did" ploy. Kal plays along.

ABOVE: Kal realizes how hot Mon is.

ABOVE: Kal can't keep his hands off Mon. Can you blame him?

ABOVE: Kal enjoys having Mon enter his secret tunnel, which helps Kal to come. (I am not making this up, that's what it says.)

ABOVE: Mon keeps pointing to his mouth, hoping Kal will take the hint and give him a kiss.

ABOVE: Kal can't wait to take Mon to meet Mom and Dad. The boys finish up what they were doing in the basement, and Kal puts his clothes on.

ABOVE: The sight of so much meat hanging there reminds Kal of Mon, and inspires Kal to demonstrate how well he can blow.

ABOVE: Kryptonian Eye for the Daxamite Guy: Kal gets Mon some cool clothes and dresses him up. "Daddy" Kent falls under Mon's spell and can't resist undressing him.

ABOVE: Hey, Mon, let me teach you about the earth custom called "doggy style."

ABOVE: Getting ready for bed, Mon undresses while Kal sneaks a closer peek.

ABOVE: "An hour later, when Mon-El falls asleep..." Wonder what went on during that hour? (I am not making this up.)

ABOVE: Kal has a great new toy that the boys can play with in bed. Sure, it involves a little pain, but that can be fun when you're invulnerable. The safe word is "Serum XY-4."

ABOVE: Mon feels great after a "wonderful" night. Kal hangs around outside the bathroom while Mon's in there; Mon leaves the door open. I've seen porn videos that start out this way....

ABOVE: Mon bends over in front of Kal...who takes full advantage of the situation.

Mon suggests a three-way with Kal and Lana, but Kal is in no mood to share.

Mon can't wait to strip and have another go at Kal's secret tunnel. (I swear, I am not making this up.)

ABOVE: Won't Mon be surprised when Kal's balls land on him?

ABOVE: Is that a petrified tree trunk, or is Kal just glad to see Mon? And isn't it sweet how Mon is concerned that both boys arrive at the same time?

ABOVE: "Send me to the Phantom Zone" is Daxamite slang for really spectacular gay sex.

ABOVE: Mon's huge, hard "bat" makes contact with one of Kal's balls. Both boys are enjoying this.

ABOVE: Now it's Kal's turn to swing his hard, long pole around while Mon admires the enormous package.

ABOVE: Two big, long tubes with huge, swollen heads spring up.

ABOVE: First Kal wants to talk about how the boys could jack the monster, but then he has a better idea: "You take one head! I'll take the other!"

ABOVE: Two giant, swollen heads erupt, spitting hot stuff all over the two boys. (I am NOT making this up.)

ABOVE: Mon is having great fun as he touches one of the heads and it explodes. Meanwhile, Kal sees some balls that catch his interest.

ABOVE: Now Mon wants Kal to finish first. Isn't that sweet?

ABOVE: As the boys are in the shower together, Kal's balls make Mon gag. Mon is so overwhelmed by the fun that he can hardly move.

ABOVE: After all the excitement, Kal tenderly cradles Mon in his arms.

ABOVE: Kal gets another toy so that he and Mon can role-play being prisoners together.

ABOVE: Unfortunately, when all is said and done, Kal is a slut as well as a tease. Once he's done with his one-night trick, he never wants to see or hear from Mon again.