Week of 4 January 2012

STAR TREK/LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES 4 (2012/01)
(untitled)
ROLL CALL:

Brainiac 5, Chameleon Boy, Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass

CUTE BOYS: Brainy, Chekov, Garth, Kirk, McCoy, Rokk, Spock, Sulu

Castellan Kajz informs the Emperor that there are time travelers around. The Emperor asks why "he" didn't inform them.

The time-traveling team of Brainy, Imra, Rokk, Chekov, McCoy, and Spock run into turbulence in the timestream and crash-land in caveman times, several weeks after the point of divergence. They're attacked by cavemen armed with futuristic weapons, under the control of a powerful mind. Imra leads the team to that mind, and they find Vandal Savage.

In the present day, Cham, Garth, Tasmia, Kirk, Sulu, and Uhura get into the palace and fight their way to the throne room, where they find Flint.

Flint/Savage announces that he has had many names and titles, but the most important is Vandar the Stone, Master of Earth...and none will oppose him. But a shadowy figure with glowing eyes, present in both times, responds "That's what you think..."

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS:

Funniest single exchange of the comic, perhaps the series: Chekov is doing his usual "bragging about Russia" shtick, saying "the steam engine, the printing press, even scotch -- all invented in Russia." Cosmic Boy responds, "That's amazing. Our timelines must be even more different than I thought."

Kirk attempts to flirt with Shady, but he's met his match; she's used to worse people than him leering at her.

So why does this Legion recognize Vandal Savage? I can't recall any previous meetings between them. (Yeah, there was Crisis on Infinite Earths, but that's later in this Legion's timeline.) Maybe it was an untold story...or those ubiquitous history tapes.

Fint is the immortal from the Star Trek (original series) episode "A Requiem for Methuselah." The split-screen panel showing him in both timelines is probably a deliberate homage to a similar panel in Legion of 3 Worlds with the Time Trapper and Superboy-Prime.

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ACTION 5 (2012/03)
"Rocket Song"
ROLL CALL:

Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Superman

CUTE BOYS: With this art? Everyone looks grotesque.

I don't know what to make of this one. The story retells the Superman origin myth with updates appropriate to the New 52 universe (Jonathan Kent is a devious schemer who deceives the government, Martha is self-absorbed and weepy). Then we cut to an undetermined time (this series hasn't been very good about orienting the readers in time) when Superman's rocket is attacked by "the Anti-Superman Army," who steals its "Kryptonite engine." The theft is discovered by Superman and the three Legionnaires, looking all adult and gritty. In a further attempt to give the readers what they apparently want, Saturn Girl's boobs are huge and both Superman and Lightning Lad have padded crotches.

Look, I have sympathy for new Legion readers who say they're lost -- after all, there's a whole lot of backstory to catch up on. But this is issue #5 of a brand-new continuity, and I'm completely lost. That's not because of the long back-story -- I've read all four previous issues.

I just don't get the appeal of Grant Morrison. I couldn't follow Final Crisis either. Those who think he's so great...what do you see in his writing? Is it the grittiness, the despair, the frowning faces, the enormous boobs and padded crotches? Is it that you figure since you can't follow the story, he must be so incredibly intelligent and good that he's beyond you? (If so, I have news for you...the emperor is wearing no clothes.)

I don't know what to do with this version of the Legion. Perhaps that will come as we learn more...if we ever do. For now, I think this falls into the same category as the Adult Legion's early appearances in Superman and Action comics -- there's no thought for continuity or even sense, DC just realizes that they'll sell more comics if they have guest appearances from the Legion.

Bah!

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