Gayest...Story...Ever

Some people just don't believe that there is any sort of gay relationship between Superboy and Mon-El. To those scoffers, I present this nostalgic look at the story that introduced Mon-El: "Superboy's Big Brother" in Superboy #89 in June 1961.

WARNING: This story was very, very gay; this discussion will get fairly explicit. If that bothers you, leave now.

The action starts as soon as Mon-El lands.

ABOVE: With Mon unconscious, Kal can't resist sticking his hands in Mon's pockets.

ABOVE: Kal uses his x-ray vision to look under Mon's clothes.

ABOVE: As Mon awakes, Kal takes his hand.

ABOVE: Mon uses the old "I was so drunk last night, I don't remember what we did" ploy. Kal plays along.

ABOVE: Kal realizes how hot Mon is.

ABOVE: Kal can't keep his hands off Mon. Can you blame him?

ABOVE: Kal enjoys having Mon enter his secret tunnel, which helps Kal to come. (I am not making this up, that's what it says.)

ABOVE: Mon keeps pointing to his mouth, hoping Kal will take the hint and give him a kiss.

ABOVE: Kal can't wait to take Mon to meet Mom and Dad. The boys finish up what they were doing in the basement, and Kal puts his clothes on.

ABOVE: The sight of so much meat hanging there reminds Kal of Mon, and inspires Kal to demonstrate how well he can blow.

ABOVE: Kryptonian Eye for the Daxamite Guy: Kal gets Mon some cool clothes and dresses him up. "Daddy" Kent falls under Mon's spell and can't resist undressing him.

ABOVE: Hey, Mon, let me teach you about the earth custom called "doggy style."

ABOVE: Getting ready for bed, Mon undresses while Kal sneaks a closer peek.

ABOVE: "An hour later, when Mon-El falls asleep..." Wonder what went on during that hour? (I am not making this up.)

ABOVE: Kal has a great new toy that the boys can play with in bed. Sure, it involves a little pain, but that can be fun when you're invulnerable. The safe word is "Serum XY-4."

ABOVE: Mon feels great after a "wonderful" night. Kal hangs around outside the bathroom while Mon's in there; Mon leaves the door open. I've seen porn videos that start out this way....

ABOVE: Mon bends over in front of Kal...who takes full advantage of the situation.

Mon suggests a three-way with Kal and Lana, but Kal is in no mood to share.

Mon can't wait to strip and have another go at Kal's secret tunnel. (I swear, I am not making this up.)

ABOVE: Won't Mon be surprised when Kal's balls land on him?

ABOVE: Is that a petrified tree trunk, or is Kal just glad to see Mon? And isn't it sweet how Mon is concerned that both boys arrive at the same time?

ABOVE: "Send me to the Phantom Zone" is Daxamite slang for really spectacular gay sex.

ABOVE: Mon's huge, hard "bat" makes contact with one of Kal's balls. Both boys are enjoying this.

ABOVE: Now it's Kal's turn to swing his hard, long pole around while Mon admires the enormous package.

ABOVE: Two big, long tubes with huge, swollen heads spring up.

ABOVE: First Kal wants to talk about how the boys could jack the monster, but then he has a better idea: "You take one head! I'll take the other!"

ABOVE: Two giant, swollen heads erupt, spitting hot stuff all over the two boys. (I am NOT making this up.)

ABOVE: Mon is having great fun as he touches one of the heads and it explodes. Meanwhile, Kal sees some balls that catch his interest.

ABOVE: Now Mon wants Kal to finish first. Isn't that sweet?

ABOVE: As the boys are in the shower together, Kal's balls make Mon gag. Mon is so overwhelmed by the fun that he can hardly move.

ABOVE: After all the excitement, Kal tenderly cradles Mon in his arms.

ABOVE: Kal gets another toy so that he and Mon can role-play being prisoners together.

ABOVE: Unfortunately, when all is said and done, Kal is a slut as well as a tease. Once he's done with his one-night trick, he never wants to see or hear from Mon again.

Week of 29 April 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

FINAL CRISIS: LEGION OF THREE WORLDS #4 (6/09)
"Legion of 3 Worlds Book Four"

ROLL CALL (Retro Legion): Blok, Bouncing Boy (image), Brainiac 5, Chameleon Baby (image), Cosmic Boy, Dawnstar, Dream Girl (image), Duo Damsel (image), Invisible Tot (Lyle) (image), Invisible Kid (Jacques) (image), Karate Kid (Myg) (image), Lightning Lad, Lightning Lass, Mon-El, Night Girl, Phantom Girl, Polar Boy, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Starman/Star Boy, Sun Boy, Superman, Utra Boy, White Witch, Wildfire

ROLL CALL (Earth-247 Legion): Andromeda, Apparition (image), Brainiac 5, Cosmic Boy, Dreamer, Ferro, Gates, Gear, Kid Quantum, Kinetix (dies), LeVIathan, Live Wire, Saturn Girl, Sensor, Shikari, Spark, Star Boy, Superboy (Conner Kent), Timber Wolf, Ultra Boy, Umbra, Valor/M'Onel, Wildfire, XS

ROLL CALL (Earth-Prime Legion): Atom Girl (image), Brainiac 5, Chameleon (image), Colossal Boy (image), Element Lad (dies), Invisible Kid, Light Lass, Lightning Lad, Phantom Girl, Projectra, Shadow Lass, Star Boy, Sun Boy (deceased), Timber Wolf, Triplicate Girl, Ultra Boy

ROLL CALL (LSV): Black Mace, Cosmic King, Dr Regulus (image), Emerald Empress, Glorith (image), Grimbor, Hunter, Lightning Lord, Mordru, Persuader, Saturn Queen, Superboy-Prime, Tharok (image), Time Trapper, Titania (image), Zymyr (dies?)

ROLL CALL (Friends & Relations): Comet Queen (image), Green Lantern (Rond Vidar) (image), Green Lantern (Sodam Yat), Kid Flash (Bart Allen), Marella Tao

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: On page 25, Polar Boy calls Sun Boy "Drake." Sun Boy's first name is "Dirk." Wildfire is "Drake." It's an easy mistake to make, especially if you've just got beaten up by Superboy-Prime. Orange glowing guy, radiation springing from his hands? Besides, Polar Boy has never stopped longing for a repeat of the really hot three-way he had with Sun Boy and Wildfire that one night....

WHO'S DEAD? So far, R.J. Brande, Myg and Rond Vidar from the Retro Legion, Kinetix from the Earth-247 Legion, Element Lad and Sun Boy from the Earth-Prime Legion.

WHO WAS DEAD, BUT GOT BETTER? Bart Allen, Conner Kent

WHO WAS IN THE LIGHTNING ROD? The youthful essence of Bart Allen.

WHAT EARTH IS THE TEENAGE REVOLUTION LEGION FROM? Either Earth-Prime or a world enough like it that its Kryptonite affects Superboy-Prime.

WHERE IS CHAMELEON BOY? Still missing and unaccounted for.

WHERE IS TELLUS? In the 21st century, in a tank in the Cadmus facility.

WHICH MON-EL IS THE ONE IN SUPERMAN? Presumably, the Retro Legion Mon-El.

WHERE DID THE EARTH-PRIME MON-EL COME FROM? YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO WENT BACK IN THE PHANTOM ZONE IN THE 31st CENTURY? Uh...sometimes time travel messes up your memories. That's what must have happened here. Yeah, that's the ticket.

WHAT ARE CHUCK AND LUORNU DOING? AND WHO IS SHE NOW, ANYWAY? TRIPLICATE GIRL, DUO DAMSEL, SINGLE SIS? Okay, she was Triplicate Girl until Computo killed one of her bodies. She was Duo Damsel until the Conspiracy, when the Time Trapper killed one of her bodies (which may or may not still be in continuity). Later, she got that body back (which may or may not still be in continuity.) Then one of her bodies went back to the 21st century with Val, where she used the name Una. Both Una and Val died. Presumably one Luornu is still left. My theory is that she & Chuck are (a) babysitting the Ranzz kids, or (b) helping Chameleon Boy with his secret mission which will Save the Day.

WHERE IS MAGNETIC KID? Superman made reference to the Magic Wars, so it is possible that Magnetic Kid is still dead. He joined at the same time as Tellus, Quislet, Sensor Girl, and Polar Boy, so it's unlikely that his membership has been erased from Legion continuity.

WHERE IS QUISLET? Waiting in the wings, ready to "poop" into Superboy-Prime and make him explode. Yay, Quislet!

WHEN IS THE LAST ISSUE DUE OUT? Not...soon...enough.

----------

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #26 (6/09)
"Happy Birthday Stargirl"
ROLL CALL: Starman/Star Boy

The whole JSA (including Starman) throws a surprise birthday party for Stargirl. then all of them troop into the dentist's office with her, where it turns out that she doesn't get her braces removed.

No, honest, I am not making this up. That's what happens. Apparently this is the last issue for this creative team. It feels like the last issue of the comic, but it's not: JSA is on the DC regular schedule for the next few months.

There are three covers; only one of them has Thom on it. Choose wisely.

----------

SUPERMAN #687 (6/09)
"Power and Wekness"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El, Sensor Girl [Wilcox], Tellus

Mon-El continues to learn under the tutelage of The Guardian. The Guardian assembles a strike team of S.P.s (incuding Mon in his Jonathan Kent identity) to rescue Tellus, who is still in a tank in Cadmus headquarters. And Mon, flying off after completing a mission, suddenly loses his powers. (I think I saw the Parasite skulking around earlier, so he's probably stolen them.)

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: This issue addresses the question of Mon-El's secret identity: specifically, how to disguise the fact that he is a dead ringer for Jonathan Kent (who is never around when Mon-El shows up). Apparently, Supes implanted a device in Mon's neck, a device which makes his facial features indistinct (the same gimmick that Jay Garrick uses as the Flash.) Both Mon and the Guardian seem to realize that this isn't exactly the most dependable solution in the world, so they're going to work on things. (Meanwhile, Mon's features seem perfectly distinct to the reader and in surveillance footage from Project 7734.) Just one more indication that the Man of Steel didn't put a whole lot of thought or planning into this Mon-El-will-replace-me thing.



----------

First Thoughts on L3W #4

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

I'll have a fuller report on this week's comics, including L3W #4, soon. But first, I have some reflections on what Geoff Johns is doing in L3W. Specifically, I believe that Johns is codifying a unified meta-history of the DC Multiverse(s), and putting the Legion squarely in the center of that history.

Earth-Prime is a Special Place

Earth-Prime stands in a unique relationship to all the other Earths, past and present. Earth-Prime is the "real" world, the comic-book version of our world. In Earth-Prime, all the rest of the DC Multiverse (Multiverses?) appears in the pages of comic books. Earth-Prime is the foundation, the "mother universe," the template from which all other Earths are derived.

(Earth-Prime is not the only Earth in which comic books existed: for example, the Flash of Earth-2 appeared in Earth-1 comic books. But Earth-Prime was clearly identified as the world in which the artists, writers, and editors of DC Comics produced the comics that we read.)

Originally, there was a big DC Multiverse with infinite Earths. Then came the Crisis
on Infinite Earths, which ultimately combined all these Earths into one single DC Universe.

From the perspective of Earth-Prime, we-the-readers knew (for example) that Superman's history had been changed, or that Jay Garrick and Barry Allen used to be on two separate Earths. But the characters in those Earths were oblivious to the change: their memories were altered, so they remembered their world as if it had always been the only one.

There were anomalies: Lady Quark, Power Girl, the Pocket Universe, etc. The single universe mutated, changed: there was the Glorithverse, the SW6 batch, various Elseworlds, etc. But still, to the characters in those universes, everything seemed stable. Some people remembered a vague Crisis and a big battle with the Anti-Monitor, but that was it.

Further widescale changes came with Zero Hour. Specifically, there was a completely different Legion (the Legion of Earth-247). Hypertime appeared, then went away and was forgotten.

Then came Infinite Crisis. Earth-247 was destroyed and its Legion left in limbo. A new Multiverse took the stage: instead of an infinite number of different Earths, there were 52.

Through all of these changes, Earth-Prime remained a privileged viewpoint. From the perspective of Earth-Prime, all the previous Earths still existed: they were in the pages of comic books stored in back-issue bins.

The Legion of Earth-Prime

With L3W #4, it's become obvious that the most recent version of the Legion, the "Threeboot" or "Teenage Revolution" Legion, actually hails from Earth-Prime.

In one sense, clues have been there all along. Cosmic Boy had an extensive comic book collection, and various Legionnaires shared his enthusiasm. Often, we saw Legionnaires looking at actual comic books, their covers depicted in such detail that fans could readily identify title and issue number. On what Earth did such comic books exist? Earth-Prime.

We know that Superboy-Prime came from Earth-Prime (so that's where they got his name!). He has all the godlike powers of the pre-Crisis Superman, and he is immune to Kryptonite and magic. (It's been well-established that Kryptonite from one universe doesn't necessarily affect people in another; the Pocket Universe Superboy, for example, was immune to post-Crisis Byrne-era Kryptonite.) Presumably, only Kryptonite from Earth-Prime could affect Superboy-Prime.

Then comes the icing on the cake, in L3W #4: The Threeboot/Teenage Revolution Element Lad creates Kryptonite that affects Superboy-Prime. The Teenage Revolution Element Lad (and hence his whole Legion) is from Earth-Prime. Q.E.D.

Superboy-Prime believes that Earth-Prime was destroyed in the first Crisis, but apparently it wasn't. Or perhaps it got better. And a thousand years later, Earth-Prime produced a Legion of Super-Heroes.

The Time Trapper

We know that the Time Trapper, like Earth-Prime, is somehow "outside" the flow of DC continuity. He doesn't belong to any particular Earth or Multiverse; he transcends them. At the same time, he is somewhat subject to the changes that ripple through continuity; his nature has changed several times in the past 50 years.

Perhaps the Time Trapper himself said it best, around the time of the Legion's 40th anniversary:

I've watched you Legionnaires for a long time, studied you, fought you, even "saved you. I've been both "villain" and "hero" to you. I may even be one of you. I have been, you know. I've tried to control your legacy -- change your history, your origins, your very lives. Anything that didn't quite "fit."

I believed I was helping, but my arrogance caused untold damage, and almost destroyed reality itself.

While all the other characters are trapped in their various continuities, the Time Trapper is on the same plane as the reader: he remembers every change and every intermediate version.

And here's what Johns shows us: the Time Trapper is Superboy-Prime. He is from Earth Prime: our universe, the universe of the editors and writers and artists and readers. Presumably the Time Trapper has the greatest collection of Legion comics ever, and can simply look up any past story he wants.

There's one difference. Superboy-Prime is locked in place. He is a character, with a character's limitations and a character's changeable memory. He exists on the comic book page, in the comic book universe, within the boundaries of panel and page and covers. Sure, he remembers reading comics about Polar Boy and the rest...but he can't get to those comics now. He can't get back to Earth-Prime.

The Time Trapper, though, is beyond those limits. He exists on the comic book page, sure, but he also exists in Earth-Prime. No matter what happens to the Time Trapper within the story, his essence will always exist, and he'll always be back with all the memories he had originally.

I think of it this way. Superboy-Prime is like Batman or Wonder Woman: he is (or has become) a made-up character who exists only on the comic book page. The Time Trapper, however, is like a comic-book version of, say, Geoff Johns: he exists both on the comic book page and in the real world. Anything can happen to the comic book Johns: he could die, gain super-powers, turn into an intelligent octopus, win the Nobel Peace Prize. But none of that would change the real-world Johns.

Come to think of it...the Time Trapper sounds an awful lot like the ultimate comic book writer/editor.

Anybody Remember Zoot Sputnik's Dog?

In the late, lamented 'Mazing Man comic, there was a comic book character named Zoot Sputnik (trust me, it's way complicated). Zoot's dog, Barker, was struck by radiation that gave him "Cosmic Consciousness" -- that is, Barker was able to remember things from one reboot to the next, and ultimately realized that he (along with Zoot and all his friends) was a character in a comic book.

So here's my theory: something happened/heppens to Superboy-Prime that gives him "Cosmic Consciousness." Not only that, but he gains the on-the-page ability to manipulate time and alternate worlds. (Maybe he studies for years on end, like Cosmic Boy did in the "End of an Era" storyline; maybe he gets zapped by something Rip Hunter built; or maybe he gets hired as a writer at DC.) Now he is the Time Trapper.

In a way, the Time Trapper is a symbol of how Legion fans perceive DC management. Both have tried repeatedly to destroy the Legion, both have tried to erase Superman from the Legion's continuity, both have made changes in the Legion...and both have, ultimately, always failed. Because Polar Boy (speaking for all Legion trufans) is right: there will always be a Legion. The fans always force the Time Trapper/DC to bring the Legion back.

So if Superboy-Prime/Time Trapper is DC, and Polar Boy is the fans, then I suppose Geoff Johns is Brainiac 5.

So how will L3W end? How will the Legion defeat Superboy-Prime/the Time Trapper
this time?

If I didn't know better, I'd look for the solution to come from the Legion's greatest fan, Flynt Brojj.

----------

Are We There Yet?

It's due out today, it's due out today, it's due out today, it's due out today!

Or, to put it another way:

IT'S
DUE
OUT
TODAY!!!!!!

(Not that I'm, like, anxious or anything...)

Week of 22 April 2009

There was no new LSH content in DC comics this week. Alas, the mysterious Superwoman was revealed to be someone who has never, to my knowledge, appeared in any LSH comic.

However, there was some old Legion content: Showcase Presents Legion of Super-Heroes volume 3.

The Showcase Presents volumes are a great way to read a lot of old stories for not much money (this one was $19.99). The paper is perhaps one step up from newsprint, and the stories are presented in black-and-white outline. But each volume is something like 500 pages: this one includes nearly two years worth of stories from Adventure 349 - 368 and Jimmy Olsen 106.

And what stories! This period was the first part of the original Shooter years, and many of the stories are classics. The Rogue Legionnaire was the first appearances of Universo and Rond Vidar. The Outcast Super-Heroes/The Forgotten Legion featured the Devil's Dozen (including the White Witch) and Dr. Zan Orbal, who restored Lightning Lad's arm, Bouncing Boy's powers, and Matter-Eater Lad's normal weight; as if that wasn't enough, Star Boy and Dream Girl rejoined the Legion. The Fatal Five/The Doomed Legionnaires introduced the Fatal Five and the Sun-Eater, and killed off Ferro Lad.

The Adult Legion/The War of the Legions showed a possible future of the Legion. The Six-Legged Legionnaire brought Insect Queen to the 30th century and granted her Reserve status. In The Five Legion Orphans we got to see Brainiac 5, Dream Girl, Element Lad, Mon-El, and Superboy as babies, and the world Rokyn (settled by the inhabitants of an enlarged Kandor) was introduced to the DC universe. The Ghost of Ferro Lad was a spooky story that added another bit to Legion lore. Lyle Norg showed his stuff in The Hunter.

Universo and Rond Vidar returned in The Outlawed Legionnaires/The Legion Chain Gang (Mon-El in bondage, whoo-hoo!), which also introduced R.J. Brande. The Unkillables introduced the Dominators. The Lone Wolf Legionnaire Reporter was a fun Jimmy Olsen/Elastic Lad story. We got a glimpse of several Legion homeworlds (Daxam, Orando, and Naltor) in The Chemoids Are Coming/Black Day for the Legion. The Super-Pets starred in Revolt of the Super-Pets.

The Fatal Five returned (and wrecked the Legion clubhouse), the Legion visited Talok VIII, and Shadow Lass joined in Escape of the Fatal Five/The Fight for the Championship of the Universe. The Legion got a new clubhouse (with built-in Miracle Machine) and faced the Dark Circle for the first time in No Escape From the Circle of Death. And the last sotry in this collection, The Mutiny of the Super-Heroines, contained those immortal lines, "Gasp! All of a sudden, there's an army of Due Damsels!" "They're comin' through the walls!"

Now, look at how many elements from these stories have appeared in recent DC comics. Rond Vidar, Universo, the Fatal Five, the Legion of Super-Villains, an Adult Legion, New Krypton (aka Rokyn), Daxam, the Miracle Machine, an army of Luornus (okay, seven), a war of Legions, and even the Fatal Five trying to penetrate a force-shield around the Leigon clubhouse (a shield made with Brainiac 5's force-shield belt).

It's been 40+ years since these stories were published, and current writers are still mining them.

I would not be surprised to see the Super-Pets and Insect Queen showing up in Legion of 3 Worlds before it's over.

----------

Week of 15 April 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

R.E.B.E.L.S. #3 (6/09)
"A World of Hurt"
ROLL CALL: Bounder, Brainiac 2 (Vril Dox), Strata, Tribulus, Wildstar
OMEGA MEN: Broot, Darkfire, Doc, Elu, Tigorr

The LSH connections continue. Let's go down the list.

Brainiac 2 (Vril Dox) is, of course, the ancestor of Brainiac 5. Brainy's voice is inside Vril's head, giving him info about the LSH. Vril is prevented from directly revealing any of this info, but he can use it to build his team.

Tribulus is a Validus analog, with great strength and ability to generate devastating mental lightning. For the moment, he is under Vril's mental control.

Wildstar is an analog of both Dawnstar and Wildfire. She is from Dawny's homeworld and has her tracking abilities; Vril transformed her into an energy being who lives inside a containment suit. She seems happy with the transformation.

Strata is the Blok analog. She hails from Blok's home planet, and may even be Blok's ancestor (I don't know if this was ever explicitly stated). She is married to Garv, a big purple guy with enormous strength. And in this issue, we learn that they have a baby. Somehow.

Bounder is a Bouncing Boy analog. His exact species and powers are yet to be revealed, but he turns into a big ball and smashes things. He's light blue and wears a helmet, which makes him look a lot like Wildstar.

I don't know much about the Omega Men; I've never really followed their adventures, and I'm not sure how they fit into all this.I do know that Broot is a big grey critter dressed in light blue, which makes him look a lot like Strata.

I really like the art, except that there are way too many light blue/grey people with masks or masklike faces: Strata, Wildstar, Bounder, Broot, and dozens of L.E.G.I.O.N. troopers.

At the end, we find that L.E.G.I.O.N. has been possessed by Starro. And we see a spiky-haired woman (with grey skin, of course...at least her outfit is green, not light blue). I have a feeling I should recognize her, but for the life of me I can't. She's not Stealth (she's orange), she's not Lydea Mallor (she's...you guessed it, light blue)...I dunno. More will be revealed next issue.

----------

Week of 8 April 2009

There was no Legion content in DC comics this week, unless you count Booster Gold's Legion flight ring or the Controllers in GREEN LANTERN #39.

----------

Week of 1 April 2009

There was no Legion content in DC comics this week, unless Invisible Kid was in the crowd in the Flash Museum. But there were a couple of tangentially-related sightings.

In FLAHS: REBIRTH #1, Bart Allen is back. He says, "I came here from the future so that everything could go back to the way it used to be. Wally's the Flash and I'm Kid Flash." No surprise: we last saw Bart at the end of LEGON OF THREE WORLDS #3. The trip back from the future seems to have addled his brains a bit, and made him unaccountably hostile to Barry Allen. "The way it used to be"? There was a time when Bart didn't want to be called "Kid Flash," and he was somewhat hostile toward Wally West.

The biggest disappointment in FLASH: REBIRTH #1 (besides a difficult-to-follow plot) was the absence of Jenni (XS), or any mention of her. Okay, maybe there's a DC-wide blackout of possible LEGION OF THREE WORLDS spoilers. That fits into the ongoing DC goal of frustrating Legion fans at every turn....

At the end of JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #25, they show the cover for the next issue..and there's Starman (Thom Kallor) over there on the left. Last I heard, Starman left the JSA to dig up graves. Whatever's going on, Legion completists will probably want to pick up JSA #26 next month.

----------

Week of 25 March 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

SUPERMAN #686 (5/09)
"Yesterday and Tomorrow"
ROLL CALL: Chameleon Boy [Control], Mon-El, Quislet [Hovercam MTSP02]

Mon-El begins filling in for Superman as the defender of Metropolis. The Guardian takes Mon-El under his wing, and Mon (as Jonathan Kent) becomes an officer in the Science Police. Lar cuts his hair in order to look less British and more butch.

We live in a quantum universe, which means it's like old-stye comics: if you look at anything closely enough, it falls apart into a bunch of indistinct dots.

So it is with this whole "Mon-El Replaces Superman" storyline.

Lar Gand, space explorer, is fresh out of fifteen years or so in the Phantom Zone, miraculously cured of his vulnerability to lead. He doesn't know how he was cured, how long the cure will last, or what to do if his vulnerability returns. The sum total of his experience with Earth: he landed, met Clark Kent, and then in a few hours he was dying and exiled to the Phantom Zone.

I don't know about you, but I'd think that Lar would want to put Earth as far behind him as possible. Why would he agree to stick around, much less to fill in for Superman -- the guy who exposed him to lead to begin with, imprisoned him in the Zone, and then basically forgot about him for 15 years or more? Why doesn't he fly off to explore the universe for a better place to live?

And what about Supes? How heartless and selfish, to leave this poor teenager on an unfamiliar lead-filled planet, with no certainty that he'll continue to be immune to lead? To thrust upon him the responsibility for the well-being of an entire city (if not the whole world)? To force him to adopt a new (fraudulent) identity and live in an unfamiliar culture, with no guide except an old woman who lives thousands of miles away?

And what about the citizens of Metropolis? Are they supposed to accept Mon-El, with no statement from Superman or any other bona-fides? A population that is hostile toward Kryptonians, on a world that has banished all Kryptonians except Superman. (I know that Mon-El is Daxamite, not Kryptonian...is this a distinction that the average citizen of Metropolis will understand, without having it explained to them?)

The whole thing just doesn't make sense, if you think about it.

But damn, Lar is looking mighty fine!


BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: A thousand years in the future, Mon-El (as a Legionnaire) will be an officially-deputized Science Police officer. Oddly, he is not the only Legionnaire to have a previous career as an S.P. In classic continuity, Gim Allon (Colossal Boy) was with the Science Police before joining the Legion. In the Earth-247 Legion, Imra Ardeen (Saturn Girl) was an S.P. before she became a founding member of the Legion.

In the Teenage Revolution Leigon, Chameleon masqueraded as an S.P. officer. And Lyle Norg (Invisible Kid) was the son of an S.P.

Does anyone remember other Science Police officers who joined the Legion, or other Legionnaires who served as S.P.'s?

----------

Week of 18 March 2009

I did not see any LSH content in the DC universe this week. Unless, of course, the mysterious Superwoman is really the pre-Crisis Dev-Em in drag.

If so, you saw it here first!

----------

Week of 11 March 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #34 (5/09)
"Emerald Eclipse Part Two"

There's not actual LSH content here, but Daxamite Green Lantern Sodam Yat and his mother Mrs. Yat are major characters in the continuing story of Mongul's invasion of Daxam.

----------

R.E.B.E.L.S. #2 (5/09)
"The First Recruit"
ROLL CALL: Amon Hakk, Brainiac 2 (Vril Dox), Brainiac 5, Getorix, Skwaul, Supergirl, Tribulus, Wildstar, a bunch of Legion silhouettes

Okay, this is getting interesting. Vril Dox (I'll never get used to calling him "Brainiac 2") now has complete personnel files of the Legion, and he's going to use that info to build up his own Legion. There's a side-plot involving the Omega Men that I don't completely get, then it's off to Starhaven to recruit Wildstar, who is probably one of Dawnstar's distant ancestors.

BITS OF L.E.G.I.O.N. BUSINESS: Skwaul is a telepath from Hepvestus, not Hykraius...but what do you want to bet that he's an ancestor of Tellus?

Tribulus, who has "super-strength" and "mental lightning," is listed as having an unknown homeworld. He is obviously meant to recall Validus, but the exact connection is as unknown as his homeworld.

In the old days, Starhaven was an Earth colony that was settled sometime between the 20th and 30th centuries. This time around, it was founded "centuries ago" by "Athranian gene farmers" who abducted the Anasazi people. When the Athranians were conquered by the Spider Guild, Starhaven was left to develop along its own path.

Wildstar is Starhaven's resident crazy woman, with rudimentary tracking powers and stunted wings, and she joins Dox. Notice how her name is a subtle combination of Wildfire and Dawnstar.

The Brainiac 5 who appears here is an AI construct designed to mimic Brainy. He looks like the Brainiac 5 from the Teenage Revolution version of the LSH. But the most interesting thing is the Legion templates behind him...silhouettes that represent Brainy's personnel files. Why silhouettes, instead of actual Legionnaires?

I'm guessing that we're seeing a post-L3W Legion. They're silhouettes because DC doesn't want to tip their hands about the conclusion of L3W.

So okay, let the speculation begin...whose silhouettes are these?

Week of 4 March 2009

No new LSH content this week, unless Allura is really Yera Allon. (If she is, you heard it here first.)

As a die-hard Legion fanatic, I was prepared to spend $39.99 for a hardcover reprint of five stories I already have in Archive Editions (DC Comics Classics Library: The Legion of Super-Heroes: The Life and Death of Ferro Lad)...but none of my regular stores had it.

Ah, well, there's always Amazon. Yeah, I'm sure Wonder Woman will let me borrow her copy....

----------

Week of 25 February 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

SUEPRMAN #685 (4/09)
"The Long Goodbye"
ROLL CALL (Retro Legion): Mon-El, Superman, Tellus

Mon-El, fresh out of the self-destructed Phanom Zone, is dying of lead poisoning. Superman panics, especially when his Legion flight ring won't take him to the future. He races around the Fortress like a chicken with its legs cut off, until he finds a phallic bottle bearing a Legion tag ("Mon-El, Drink me"). Despite the fact that the bottle is very clearly addressed to Mon-El, the Man of Steel shows no compunctions about opening it himself.

Against all first-aid advice, Superman pours an unknown liquid down the throat of an unconscious patient. (I'm not going to make crude comments about Supes, a phallic object, and squirting stuff into Mon-El's mouth.) Luckily, the serum works and Mon regains his invulnerability before he can choke to death.

Deeply concerned for his friend, Superman takes his wife and runs off to Metropolis, leaving Mon alone at the Fortress to watch 3D TV. (Is it any wonder that General Zod decided Superman was a bad father and took Chris away from him?)

Meanwhile, the Guardian wakes from a wet dream about Tellus (you think I'm kidding? The scene ends with the Guardian saying, "Okay, buddy -- I'm coming." [emphasis in the original])

Superman decides to leave Earth and go to New Krypton, leaving Earth in the hands of Steel, the Guardian, Oracle, Jimmy Olsen (!), and Mon-El. Apparently a night of TV at the Fortress is adequate preparation for the job of taking over for Superman. Superman and Lois kiss, then he flies off into the night while his tearful wife whispers, "And please come back to me." Gee...I wonder if he'll be back?

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Now Superman thinks of going to the future to bring back a cure for Mon's lead poisoning. Couldn't have had that idea, oh, fifteen years ago when you put him in the Phantom Zone, could you, Kal?

Superman is quite distressed (deservedly so) by his flight ring's inability to take him into the future. First he says, "Something's wrong -- with tomorrow!" and then later he somewhat incoherently tells Lois, "The 31st century -- which when I tried to go to, I couldn't -- like it wasn't there any more. What's going on in the future, Lois? And why leave me the means to save Mon so mysteriously? Why didn't Brainiac 5 appear and simply say 'here'?"

Mark my words, this has something to do with the end of Legion of 3 Worlds. The future is closed because it's under construction, or something.

I just can't figure out the significance of Superman's sudden inability to speak a coherent English sentence....


"Origins and Omens"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El

Mon-El flies to Smallville, looking cuter than ever, and has a heart-to-heart talk with Ma Kent -- who is the planet's leading expert in training teenage superheroes. Krypto really likes Mon, which shows remarkable good taste on Krypto's part. But Krypto'd better be careful...Tasmia will kill him if he tries anything.

Mon-El, still speaking without contractions, tells Ma that he's going to adopt a secret identity as Clark's cousin ("To help me be around Lois without too many questions" -- uh huh, yeah, that won't raise anyone's suspicions -- anyway, if Lois tries anything Tasmia will kill her.) Because of his stiff way of speaking (no contractions, remember?) Mon will claim he's from London. Oracle has set him up with falsified immigration papers and a bank account full of untraceable cash -- uh, remind me again, Oracle's one of the good guys, right? -- but Mon needs a name, and "Bob Cobb" just ain't gonna cut it this time around.

So Ma Kent says, "Hey, you need a name...I have a dead husband who doesn't need his name any more...I've got a great idea."

Next page, Mon is outside the door of his new apartment. He must be feeling better, because he has regained the ability to use contractions. He meets his nosy neighbor Sandra, and introduces himself as...wait for it!...Jonathan Kent. (Didn't see that one coming, did you?) Sandra makes goo-goo eyes at him. If she tries anything, Tasmia will kill her.

Then we see a montage of scenes from, presumably, Mon's next few months on Earth. He gets punched out by that god guy whom Krypto chased away last year, flies with the Guardian and a police officer, gets strangled by Sodam Yat (Tasmia will kill him if he tries anything...), gets leered at by Luthor (Tasmia will kill him...), and kisses someone in dreds and obviously not-blue skin (oooh, Tasmia's gonna kill whomever that is...)

The story ends with the promise: "Follow Mon'El's adventures in Superman starting next month." Yeah, I'll bet Mon-El is going to have some adventures "in Superman." Nudge nudge wink wink.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Okay, we know that Supes has this adorable little spit-curl that forms an "S" on his forehead. Correct me if I'm wrong, but in at least three panels, doesn't it look like Mon-El's hair forms a stylized "M" on his forehead?

----------

Week of 18 February 2009

I did not see any Legion content in DC comics this week.

Unless it turns out that the mysterious Superwoman is really Princess Projectra....

----------

Week of 11 February 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

ACTION #874 (4/09)
"Suspicion"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El

Mon-El is released from the Phantom Zone bare moments before the Zone is consumed by a white void. Lar collapses in Superman's arms -- some would say it's because of lead poisoning, but I believe that Lar is just overcome by the appallingly-ugly art.

Mon-El's story continues in Superman 685.

TOP THREE THINGS I'D LIKE TO HEAR MON-EL SAY:

3. "Uh, Kal, why is there a statue of me among the Legion statues in your Fortress?"

2. "Uh, Brainy, why can't Kal take some of your anti-lead serum back to the 21st century and let me out of the Phantom Zone then?"

1. "Uh, Brainy, why can't you take some anti-lead serum back to the 21st century, get me out of the Phantom Zone, and then take me to the 31st century with you?"

ACTION #874 (4/09)
"Origins & Omens"
ROLL CALL: Sensor Girl [Wilcox], Tellus (cameo)

This story is mainly about the Guardian but it includes a cameo shot of Tellus. The Giuardian's story, and presumably that of Tellus, continues in Superman #686.

----------
GREEN LANTERN CORPS #33 (4/09)
"Emerald Eclipse Part One"

No specific Legion appearances in this issue, but part of the story takes place on Daxam (which is conquered by Mongul), and Sodam Yat's parents feature in the tale as well.

----------
R.E.B.E.L.S. #1 (4/09)
"The Future is Now"
ROLL CALL: Brainiac 5, Hakk (a Khund?), Skwaul (maybe a Hykrain?), Supergirl, Tribulus, Un-named alien, Vril Dox (here called Brainiac 2)

Good art, and a competent story. Vril Dox, being chased by a bloodthirsty group of aliens, lands on Earth and seeks help from Supergirl. Turns out that Brainiac 5 programmed Kara with a hypnotic message for Vril.

It will be interesting to see where this goes in the future.

----------

Week of 4 February 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

ADVENTURE COMICS #0 (4/09)
"The Legion of Super-Heroes" (reprint from ADVENTURE #247 [4/1958])
ROLL CALL (Classic Legion): Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Superboy (Retroactively conjectured: Brainiac 5, Phantom Girl, Triplicate Girl - see what Michael has to say about this)

How many times has DC sold me this sotry? Let me count the ways:

1. SUPERMAN ANNUAL #6 [25 cents]
2. ADVENTURE #491 (digest) [95 cents]
3. LSH ARCHIVES #1 [$49.95]
4. SILVER AGE CLASSICS: ADVENTURE #247 [$1.00]
5. MILLENNIUM EDITION: ADVENTURE #247 [$3.95]
6. WORLD'S BEST COMICS SILVER AGE SAMPLER [99 cents]
7. SHOWCASE PRESENTS LSH #1 (trade paperback) [$16.99]
8. LSH: 1050 YEARS OF THE FUTURE (trade paperback) [19.99]
9. ADVENTURE COMICS #0 [$1.00]

TOTAL: $95.07

What can I say? More money than sense, I guess....

Besides the new cover and nice reprint of a story I already own eight times, what we were all interested in was the backup "Origins and Omens" feature and a clue about the future direction of ADVENTURE. Will it star the Legion?

And the answer is: Fraid not. The "Origins and Omens" story features Luthor, Brainiac, and the ex-Guardian Scar; it seems to tie in to the upcoming "Blackest Night" series and hints at the return of Kon-El (who is not shown wearing his Legion flight ring.)

However, two house ads in the back of the comic are interesting. The first sets the stage for SUPERMAN #686 and ACTUION #875: the headline says "The Never Ending Battle...Just Got Some More Help" and it shows the Guardian, the new Nightwing and Flamebird, and...Mon-El.

The second interesting hosue ad is a thumbnail of the cover of ADVENTURE #1, with two figures visible only in silhouette. First, the cover has a layout that recalls ADVENTURE #300 and similar covers. Second, One of the non-silhouetted figures is Starman...and on his shoulder is a bare hand wearing a Legion flight ringl. Third, one of the silhouetted figures might be a flying guy with a cape -- Mon-El? (Of course, it could just as easily be Tellus.)

In any case, ADVENTURE should join the list of titles to watch for Legion content, along with SUPERMAN and ACTION. Come to think of it, I would advise watching all of Geoff Johns' comics...the Legion or individual Legionnaires can pop up at any point.

----------
FINAL CRISIS: LEGION OF 3 WORLDS #3 (4/09)
"Legion of 3 Worlds Book Three"

ROLL CALL (Retro Legion): Blok, Brainiac 5, Chameleon Girl, Colossal Boy, Cosmic Boy, Dawnstar, Dream Girl, Invisible Kid (Jacques), Lightning Lad, Lightning Lass, Mon-EL, Night Girl, Polar Boy, Rond Vidar's corpse, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Shrinking Violet, Sun Boy, Superman, Timber Wolf, Ultra Boy, White Witch, Wildfire

ROLL CALL (Earth-247 Legion): Andromeda, Apparition, Brainiac 5, Chameleon, Cosmic Boy, Ferro, Gates, Gear, Invisible Kid, Karate Kid, Kid Quantum, Kinetix, LeVIathan, Live Wire, Projectra, Saturn Girl, Shikari, Spark, Star Boy, Timber Wolf, Triad, Ultra Boy, Umbra, Valor (not called M'Onel), Wildfire, XS

ROLL CALL (Teenage Revolution Legion): Atom Girl, Brainiac 5, Chameleon, Colossal Boy, Element Lad, Invisible Kid, Karate Kid, Light Lass, Phantom Girl, Projectra, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Star Boy, Sun Boy, Supergirl (flashback), Timber Wolf, Triplicate Girl, Ultra Boy

ROLL CALL (Legion of Super-Villains): Beauty Blaze, Black Mace, Chameleon Chief, Cosmic King, Dr. Regulus, Earth-Man, Echo, Emerald Empress, Esper Lass, Golden Boy, Grimbor, Lazon, Lightning Lord, Magno Lad, Mano, Micro Lad, Mist Master, Neutrax, Ol-Vir, Persuader, Radiation Roy, Saturn Queen, Silver Slasher, Spider Girl, Storm Boy, Superboy Prime, Terrus, Tharok, Titania, Tusker, Tyr, Universo, Validus, Zymyr

ROLL CALL (Retro Legion, Flashback to first L3W adventure): Bouncing Boy, Brainiac 5, Chameleon Boy, Chemical King, Colossal Boy, Cosmic Boy, Dream Girl, Duo Damsel, Element Lad, Invisible Kid (Lyle), Karate Kid, Light Lass, Lightning Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Phantom Girl, Princess Projectra, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Shrinking Violet, Star Boy, Sun Boy, Timber Wolf, Ultra Boy,

ROLL CALL (Earth-247 Legion, Flashback to first L3W adventure): Apparition, Brainiac 5, Chameleon, Cosmic Boy, Invisible Kid, Kid Quantum (James), Leviathan, Live Wire, Saturn Girl, Triad, XS (as a baby)

ROLL CALL (Teenage Revolution Legion, Flashback to first L3W adventure): Brainiac 5, Chameleon, Cosmic Boy, Dream Girl, Light Lass, Lightning Lad, Projectra, Saturn Girl, Star Boy

ROLL CALL (Friends, Family, & Others): Don & Dawn Allen (holograms), Impulse, Koko, Lex Luthor, Myg (Karate Kid), Sodam Yat

Wow! Worth the wait. I laughed, I shivered, and several times I shouted out "yes!" aloud.

This is what good writing is all about. In a single double-page spread, several mysteries are explained: the first "Legion of 3 Worlds" adventure, how XS and Bart can coexist, how three different Legions have interacted with 20th/21st century DC heroes, what happened to the Tornado Twins, and even why the post-Zero-Hour Legion appeared on "Earth-247" in INFINITE CRISIS.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: So the Fatal Five attacks the force field protecting Legion Headquarters. Validus zaps it with his mental lightning. The Emerald Empress blasts it with energy from the Emerald Eye. The Persuader chops at it with all the force of his Atomic Axe. Mano unleashes the full power of his disintegrating disc. And Tharok...shakes his fist at it.

Good thing Ron-Karr wasn't there....

(Come to think of it, where is Ron-Karr?)

And I guess Eyeful Ethel couldn't get a substitute teacher to cover for her that day.

Interesting that Valor is no longer calling himself M'Onel.

And please, please tell me that Glorith is not lurking anywhere in the Multiverse....


TOP EIGHT CHUCKLES:

8. Gates: "I suppose, regardless of the world, they are still vertebrates."

7. Beauty Blaze: "You want us to burn a hole in the street?"

6. Lightning Lad: "I totally called this, didn't I, Cos?"

5. Blok: "I heard you complaining under there." Jo: "And Tinya says that never helps."

4. Wildfire: "So this is the bedroom of a madman? I thought there'd be more brains in jars."

3. Ultra Boy: "Three Phantom Girls? I hope I'm not dreaming,"

2. Lightning Lad : "It's pronounced WINE-ath, not WIN-ath." Spark: "We pronounce it Win-ATHE."

1. Brainiac 5: "You do know that negativity is a sign of eleventh-level intelligence." Brainiac 5: "Is not."


TOP TWELVE NODS TO THE FANS:

12. The most Interlac in-jokes per square inch of any double-page spread in history.

11. Another dead Karate Kid (by now, it's a tradition).

10. Sodam Yat's new version of the Green Lantern oath.

9. "He just went up, up, and away!"

8. Comics in Clark-Prime's backpack (ACTION #550, GREEN LANTERN #171, and LSH #306)

7. The Avenue of Heroes.

6. Shrinking Violet using the tiny guns that were designed for her way back in ADVENTURE #367.

5. All the trophies in Legion HQ, but especially the satellite from ADVENTURE #247.

4. Managing to fit in Lyle, Condo, and (I guess) James Cullen.

3. "Welcome to Smallville: Home of 'The Super-Boy.'"

2. Finally settling the dispute over how to pronounce Winath (and, by extension, every other name that fans have argued over.)

1. "LONG LIVE THE LEGION!"



TOP SEVEN INCONSISTENCIES EXPLAINED:

7. Clark's career as "The Super-Boy."

6. Inconsistencies in pronunciation (i.e. WIN-ath, Win-ATH, Win-ATHE) (and, by extension, spelling, etc.)

5. Why no-one except Adult Brainy knows about the Three Legions, Jenni, etc.

4. Jenni, Bart, and the Flash Family being in different universes.

3. Inconsistencies in costume/membership/age of the three Legions in the first L3W adventure ("And the Legions of three worlds were pulled together from different Earths and different times.")

2. How different Legions could interact with present-day DC heroes ("When time-traveling one can shift into the multiverse.")

1. ANY other inconsistencies, past, present, or future ("When time-traveling one can shift into the multiverse.")


TOP FIVE MOMENTS THAT MADE ME SQUEE!:

5. "Live Wire's back!"

4. Double-page spread on p. 4-5

3. Double-page spread recounting the first L3W adventure.

2. Bart's costume erupts from his Flash ring.

1. "LONG LIVE THE LEGION!"


TOP TWELVE STILL-UNANSWERED QUESTIONS:

12. Who's minding Graym while all this is going on? What about Cub, the son of Apparition and Timber Wolf?

11. How many other Legions are out there, what Earths are they on, and when do we get to see them? (I, for one, would like to see Kent Shakespeare, Devlin O'Ryan, and even Celeste Rockfish again.)

10. Where are Gazelle, Dream Boy, and the newly-resurrected Dream Girl of the Teenage Revolution Legion?

9. Are the Wanderers, the Subs, or the Heroes of Lallor going to show up?

8. Are Bouncing Boy, Una, and Quislet (Retro Legion) going to have parts in this?

7. Where are Chameleon Boy, Element Lad, Sensor Girl, and Tyroc (Retro Legion)?

6. How does Tellus figure into all of this?

5. What do we call the Earth that Superman comes from? Earth-One? Earth-Zero?

4. What's up with Luthor's hair?

3. When is Thom coming back?

2. What Earth is the Teenage Revolution Legion from?

1. Why does this have to stop after two more issues? Why can't it be a 12-issue series, or better yet, 52?

----------

Anticipation Lad

LEGION OF 3 WORLDS #3 is due out today. And I just found myself, sitting at work, literally counting the hours until I can get my hands on that comic. Oh, and ADVENTURE #0 should be out as well.

I've been anxiously waiting for Legion comics most of my life.

The first time I remember feeling such anticipation for a comic was waiting for ADVENTURE #370 (the second half of the "Mordru the Merciless" storyline). I was nine years old at the time. When I was in college, the cumulative waiting for the five parts of Earthwar just about drove me crazy.

After the Magic Wars were over, my level of anticipation for Legion comics settled down -- through the various reboots, most of the time it's been "Oh, is it time for the new Legion comic already?" Still, there were times when a ghost of the old feeling came back.

Then there was the Lightning Saga. And "Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes." And I found myself (rather happily) once again acutely aware of when each new comic was due out.

But now...in this magical year when the Legion and I are both fifty...LEGION OF 3 WORLDS is due out today, and I'm counting the hours. And somewhere inside, I am nine years old again.

Just two and a half hours to go....

----------

New Layout

I redecorated. I got bored with the old layout.

I hope this one will be a little easier to read and more useful.

Bottle City of Kandor

Not really Legion-related, but anyway....

Here's our Bottle City of Kandor. We've had it forever, and finally today I added the little battery-powered lights that we bought at Ikea maybe ten years ago.


And here's the city without its bottle:


I know that the Animated Legion visited Kandor; and in ACTION recently Brainiac had cities from worlds like Tharr and Winath -- can anyone else think of any Legion/Kandor connections that I'm not remembering?
----------

Week of 28 January 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

FINAL CRISIS #7 (3/09)
"New Heaven, New Earth"
ROLL CALL (Retro/Lightning Saga Legion): Starman/Star Boy

So Final Crisis is finally over. Good. Now maybe someone will explain to me what happened....

Besides a few cameos of Thom, there is a Miracle Machine that Superman builds from odd bits of string and bailing wire, based on a quick glimpse of the one he saw a thousand years in the future. Guess it's a good thing he has x-ray vision, total recall, and infinite manual dexterity.

----------
JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #23 (3/09)
"Between a Rock and a Hard Place Part One: The Power of Shazam"
ROLL CALL (Rretro/Lightning Saga Legion): Starman/Star Boy

Thom's story is dispatched in one panel and an editorial note: "For more on Starman's 'secret mission,' see Final Crisis: Legon of Three Worlds." I'd love to.

Just as an aside, let's give a cheer for the return of editorial notes to the DC Universe. (I guess they came back as a result of Final Crisis. Maybe that's what Final Crisis was all about.) Long time ago, comics were filled with the editorial voice. In narrative boxes, the editorial voice oriented readers in time and space ("Later that day, in Metorpolis") or gave us footnotes ("As seen in the memorable Adventure #247"). Nowadays, those text rectangles are usually the voices of characters...but here, the editorial footnote reappears. Welcome back, editorial footnote!

----------
LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #50 (3/09)
"Hack the Infinity Net: Enemy Manifest Conclusion"
ROLL CALL (Teenage Revolution Legion): Atom Girl, Brainiac 5, Chameleon, Colossal Boy, Dream Girl, Element Lad, Gazelle, Invisible Kid, Light Lass, Lightning Lad, Phantom Girl, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Star Boy, Ultra Boy, Wildfire

This is the last issue of this incarnation of the Legion, and what a pity. The whole storyline has obviously been rushed to conclusion, and suffers from it. Ah, well, can't be helped, I suppose.

I hope we get to see more of the Teenage Revolution Legion. There's a lot there to like, and more than a few loose ends. What will become of Projectra? Are Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl back together? And what will the President think of that? Why is Invisible Kid suddenly twelve years old? Will we ever see Dream Boy again? Who and/or what is M'Rissey?

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: So Dreamy and the others are back, as clones. Doesn't Brainy know the problem with Legion clones: that after a little while they explode?

Is it me, or do the enemy and their cities visually recall the Seerons from way, way back?

So besides conversation, what were Atom Girl, Gazelle, and Saturn Girl on this mission for? Did any of them use their powers?

----------
SUPERMAN #684 (3/09)
"The Mind of Rudy Jones"
ROLL CALL (Gods-Know-What Legion): Mon-El

The Parasite, newly removed from the Phantom Zone, attacks Mon-El and absorbs some of his power...including, apparently, his ability to use contractions in speech. Mon does get in a good zinger: when Supes says "I'll talk to you soon," Mon replies, "Do not worry. It is not like I am going anywhere." Snap!

Let's see, it's been...what?...fifteen years Mon-El's been in the Phantom Zone waiting for Supes to get around to curing him. Fifteen years down, only a thousand more to go. Sheesh, Kal-El can build a Miracle Machine from scratch and save the Multiverse with it...but when it comes to getting an old friend out of the Phantom Zone, it's "I'll talk to you soon."

I would not be blame Mon-El if he decides to spend most of the next century floating invisibly behind Superman, holding up his fingers as rabbit ears behind the Man of Steel's head.

There, I said it.

Mon-El will be on the cover of ACTION #874 in two weeks, for "part one of a two-part story that takes Superman back to the Phantom Zone!"

----------

Get-a-Life Boy's Legion Stuff Part 3

Here's the rest of my Legion stuff.


ABOVE: My office wall is a big Legion display. It's kinda tight in there, so I can't really get far enough away for a good panorama. The Legion Wall is dominated by the big, long, 1980's-era "everybody who was ever in a Legion comic" poster. That poster was reprinted in one edition of the Great Darkness Saga trade paperback. The rest of the wall is taken up by trading cards and posters.


ABOVE: Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, Lightning Lad/Live Wire, Triad, Superboy, and the three-part "Great Darkness" card set.


ABOVE: Chameleon, Leviathan, Andromeda, Brainiac 5, Supoerboy, Ultra Boy/Emerald Dragon


ABOVE: Ultra Boy/Emerald Dragon, Shrinking Violet, Pulse, Inferno, Valor, Ferro, Computo


ABOVE: Dragonmage, XS, Kinetix, Glorith, and Vril Dox


ABOVE: This was another "everybody" poster, from the Earth-Zero Legion.


ABOVE: This poster came out when the Earth-Zero Legion met the Fatal Five.


ABOVE: This is a signed-and-numbered print by Chris Sprouse. Renfield got this for me as a present. It's cool.


ABOVE: DC put out these Legion membership cards as promotional items for the Earth-Zero Legion. There is a blank one in Part 1 of this series. This is the one I carry in my wallet. (Well, my alias is Get-a-Life Boy.)

NOT PICTURED: My Legion flight ring. It's gold-colored metal, and it comes in a box with a notice that this ring will not make you fly. Yeah, not with the inhibitor circuit that they installed. It's easy enough to defeat that circuit, though....

My Flight Ring served as my Vermont civil union ring in 2000. Thomas used a Star Wars ring.


ABOVE: And here's what started it all: the comics. The notebook is an index. Bagged and boarded, my Legion comics go into seven long comic boxes (I started a new box this year.)

How many boxes do your Legion comics take up?


ABOVE: First box thru 1974, second box 1975-1986.


ABOVE: Third box, 1986-1992, Fourth box 1992-1997.


ABOVE: Fifth box, 1997-2003, Sixth box 2003-2008, Seventh box 2009+

So how do you have your comics organized?

What cool Legion stuff do you have?

And what is on your wish-list for Legion goodies? Personally, I'd like to see many more action figures -- especially a complete Fatal Five. And some Legion cruisers would be nice. And, of course, there's that large-size anatomically-correct Mon-El figure, complete with Bob Cobb disguise including hairbrushes and sample case, and shared-bedroom-with-Kal playset....

----------

Get-a-Life Boy's Legion Stuff Part 2

Here's Part Two of my tour of Legion stuff.


ABOVE: These are my action figures. Some are purchased, others are custom-made. I made the customs myself, starting with various other action figures and using sculpey, paint, cardboard, and assorted fabric scraps. They light up when the Legion needs me to come to the future. Closer views below.


ABOVE: Back row (left to right): Phantom Girl (custom), Ultra Boy (purchased), Timber Wolf (purchased).
Middle row (left to right): Lightning Lass (custom), Blok (custom), Invisible Kid (Jacques) (custom), Invisible Kid (Lyle) (purchased), White Witch (custom), Sun Boy (purchased), Duo Damsel (custom), Superboy (purchased).
Front Row (left to right): XS (custom), Tellus (custom), Krypto (purchased).


ABOVE: Back Row (left ot right): Phantom Girl (custom), Ultra Boy (purchased), Timber Wolf (purchased), Mon-El (purchased), Shadow Lass (custom).
Middle row (left to right): White Witch (custom), Invisible Kid (Lyle) (purchased), Sun Boy (purchased), Superboy (purchased), Lightning Lad (purchased), Saturn Girl (purchased).
Front row (left to right): Tellus (custom), Krypto (purchased), Shrinking Violet (custom).


ABOVE: Back row (left to right): Ultra Boy (purchased), Timber Wolf (purchased), Mon-El (purchased), Shadow Lass (custom), Ferro Lad (purchased), Sensor Girl (custom), Karate Kid (custom), Princess Projectra (custom).
Middle row (left to right): Superboy (purchased), Lightning Lad (purchased), Saturn Girl (purchased), Cosmic Boy (purchased), Chameleon Boy (purchased), Supergirl (purchased).
Front row (left to right): Krypto (purchased), Shrinking Violet (custom), Proty II (custom), Streaky.


ABOVE: Back row (left to right): Mon-El (purchased), Shadow Lass (custom), Ferro Lad (purchased), Sensor Girl (custom), Karate Kid (custom), Princess Projectra (custom), Kent Shakespeare (custom).
Middle Row (left to right): Lightning Lad (purchased), Saturn Girl (purchased), Cosmic Boy (purchased), Chameleon Boy (purchased), Supergirl (purchased), Brainiac 5 (purchased)/
Front row (left to right): Proty II (custom), Streaky (purchased)


ABOVE: Back row (left to right): Kent Shakespeare (custom), Star Boy (purchased), Dream Girl (custom), Star Boy/Starman (custom).
Middle row (left to right): Element Lad (custom), Colossal Boy (purchased), Wildfire (custom).
Front row : Dawnstar (custom).

The Saturn Girl, Lightning Lad, and Cosmic Boy figures came with flight belts. In addition, Saturn Girl had her own stand; Lightning Lad came with interchangeable robot and real arms and a plastic flight ring; and Cosmic Boy came with two steel balls (there are magnets in his hands) and a plastic flight ring.


ABOVE: Three more purchased figures with a Legion connection: Superboy (Kon-El) (who actually was a Legionnaire); The Martian Manhunter (who was a Legion wedding guest and worked with the Five-Year-Gap Legion); and Impulse (Bart Allen), who met the Legion and is cousin to XS.

Next entry: a few other bits of stuff.


----------

Get-a-Life Boy's Legion Stuff Part 1

Today we got off work early for snow, so I took some time to arrange my Legion stuff and take pictures for this blog. (Thomas helped a lot.) By "stuff" I mean "things that aren't comics." This isn't everything, but it's the stuff I have all in one place.


ABOVE: A long shot of most of my stuff. Close-ups follow.


ABOVE: Books. There's the 12 volumes of Legion Archives, a bunch of comic collections, two copies of The Legion Companion and, between them, the Mayfair Games modules and sourcebooks. Teenagers From the Future should be there too, but it's still downstairs.


ABOVE: These metal figures were among the first Legion realia. They would look a lot better if they were painted, but that requires a level of patience and hand-eye co-ordination that I lack. From left to right, they are: Blok, Sensor Girl, Wildfire, Dawnstar, Element Lad, Lightning Lord, the Emerald Empress, Tyr, the Persuader, and Mordru. Interesting lineup....


ABOVE: The Legion PVC figures came in their own clubhouse-shaped box. I like how the Colossal Boy figure is bigger than the others. To their left is Mordru and the Composite Superman, along with two plastic flight rings and a Legion membership card.


ABOVE: These pocket figures came in two-packs with the included backgrounds. There's also a Saturn Girl figure, but she is using her telepathy to prevent you from seeing her.


ABOVE: Heroclix. There's the boxed set above, and below are (left to right) Wildfire, Shadow Lass, Kid Quantum, M'Onel, Saturn Girl, Triad, Cosmic Boy, Live Wire, Shauvghn Erin, Brainiac 5 & Koko, Supergirl, Mono, Mordru, Persuader, and Emerald Empress. The boxed set is unusual because the figures are based on the animated LSH, but they are more realistic sculpts.


ABOVE: McDonald's toys based on the animated LSH. These are PVC figures in little book-like containers, each with a trading card. Top row, left to right: Brainiac 5, Lightning Lad, Validus, Tharok; Bottom row, left to right: Bouncing Boy, Timberwolf, Young Superman, Mano.

Apparently, it is impossible to get a complete set of Fatal Five figures in the same format.


ABOVE: Thomas made these Legion mice out of sculpey and paint as a present for me. Isn't he great?

Next entry: My action figures.

----------

Week of 21 January 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

I did not see any Legion appearances in the DC Universe this week.

However, here's one that long-time Legion fans might want to take a look at:

SUPERMAN/BATMAN ANNUAL #3 (3/09)
"Compound Fracture"

In this "Re-Imagined Tale From Yesteryear," the new Composite Superman appears.

THEN...
The first Composite Superman appeared 44 years ago in WORLD'S FINEST #142 (6/1964). In that story, a down-on-his-luck janitor at the Superman Museum named Joe Meach had an unfortunate accident. He was standing next to the Legion statuettes when lightning struck them and him. Naturally, from this accident he gained the powers of all the Legionnaires. (It made sense at the time.) Meach used Chameleon Boy's shape-changing ability to transform himself into a half-Superman, half-Batman green-skinned freak (the green skin apparently came from Brainiac 5).

Superman and Batman were able to defeat Meach, who conveniently lost all memory of the incident. Later, his powers were restored by a crazy alien named Xan (WORLD'S FINEST #168, 8/1967). Meach gave up his life saving Batman and SUperman,

Much later (WORLD'S FINEST #283, 9/1983) Xan escaped from prison and re-created Meach's powers in himself. For a while he took on the appearance & identity of the Composite Superman, then he went back to his original look and called himself Amalgamax (sounds like an insurance company). The Legion helped defeat Amalgamax.

NOW...

The new Composite Superman has nothing to do with the Legion. Instead, it is a Frankenstein's Monster-like creature that was an early experiment by Professor Ivo. Ivo made the creature using DNA scavenged from various crime scenes, DNA belonging to members of the Justice League. (One does not ordinarily imagine Batman being careless enough to leave bits of his DNA scattered about.) This time, the creature is a bizarre sewn-together mixture of Batman and Superman, with the abilities of several Justice League members. Its skin is green because...uh...it looks cooler that way? Or maybe because it's been buried for many years, so the green represents rot? (Ewwww...)

This time around, Batman and Superman taunt the poor critter until it literally tears itself in half.

There's a lot more about the history of the Composite Superman, including several other variants, in this Wikipedia article.

----------

Week of 14 January 2009

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

ACTION #873 (3/09)
"New Krypton Part Ten: Birth of a Nation"
ROLL CALL: Mon-El, Starman/Star Boy

At the beginning of this issue, there's a cameo of Starman/Star Boy being punched by a Kryptonian from Kandor. At the end of the issue, there's a cameo of Mon-El in the Phantom Zone not being punched by Bizarro.

----------
FINAL CRISIS #6 of 7 (1/09)
"How to Murder the Earth"
ROLL CALL: Brainiac 5, Starman/Star Boy, Superman

In the first three pages, set in the 31st century, Brainiac 5 takes Superman into the Legion arsenal and shows him the Miracle Machine...which is apparently the key to resolving the Final Crisis. There's a cameo of Starman/Star Boy in one panel of the double-page spread where Metron is holding a rubik's cube. Thom has been busy this week.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: Brainy says that the Miracle Machine was created in 2960. If that was when the Controllers gave it to the Legion, that was 49 years ago in the Legion's timeline. That means the Legionnaires are at least in their 60s, if not older. We're back to the problem of aging in the 31st century and the protracted adolescence of the Legionnaires. (Granted, somewhere recently -- maybe in Countdown -- someone mentioned that 31st century medicine involves nanotech that repairs physical damage. Presumably, they also take care of aging.) Still, it's a bad idea to tie the Legion down to specific dates.

The Legion arsenal contains four time bubbles, the Concentrator, a lump of green kryptonite, and some other stuff I feel like I should recognize: some craft the look like escape pods, a floating gun, six odd-looking helmets on a table, and a floating spray can.

In classic Legion chronology, Matter-Eater Lad ate the Miracle Machine -- it drove him mad. Is this the same Miracle Machine (did Tenzil barf it up?), a different Miracle Machine, or a different timeline where Tenzil never ate it?

----------
SMALLVILLE: Episode 8.11 (1/15/09)
"Legion"
ROLL CALL: Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl

No need to say much about this. It was great. And I've never seen Garth looking so adorable before. :)

----------

Week of 7 January 2009

Once again there was no Legion content in the DC Universe this week.

However, I did pick up FUTURAMA COMICS #35, which came out sometime in 2008. (Apparently Bongo Comics doesn't believe in putting months on their comics, but from the ads it looks like it was probably January 2008.)

The point of this whole dreary story is that I turned the page to find the following:


To coin a phrase, BWAH-ha-ha!

----------

Week of 31 December 2008

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comics.)

JSA #22 (2/09)
"One World Under Gog Part VII: Thy Will Be Done"
ROLL CALL (Lightning Saga Legion): Star Boy/Starman
ROLL CALL (Earth-22/Kingdom Come Legion): Andromeda (?), Bouncing Boy (?), Brainiac 5, Catspaw, Chameleon Boy, Colossal Boy, Cosmic Boy, Dragonmage (?), Dream Girl, Element Lad, Ferro Lad, Invisible Kid, Karate Kid, Kid Quantum (or is that Star Boy?), Light Lass, Lightning Lad, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El, Phantom Girl, Princess Projectra, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Shrinking Violet, Star Boy (or is that Kid Quantum?), Sun Boy, Superboy, Supergirl, Timber Wolf, Triplicate Girl (twice?), Ulttra Boy, XS

Gog is gone, the Kingdom Come Superman is back in Earth-22, and at least part of Thom's confused timeline is straightened out: he left Earth-22 at the moment of Kansas explosion, presumably arriving in the JSA's 21st century immediately thereafter.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: There's been a lot of talk about whether the Earth-22 Legion is one of the Legions of Three Worlds. Apparently, according to Kingdom Come annotations, the Legion portrayed in Kingdom Come are an idealized version, distinct from any others.

Presumably, there could be a distinct Legion on each of the 52 Earths (except Earth-2?) The three in L3W just happened to get together.

----------

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #49 (2/09)
"One Evil: Enemy Manifest Part 4"
ROLL CALL (Teenage Revolution Legion): Atom Girl, Chameleon, Colossal Boy, Element Lad, Light Lass, Lightning Lad, Phantom Girl, Princess Projectra, Saturn Girl, Shadow Lass, Sizzle, Star Boy, Sun Boy, Timber Wolf, Ultra Boy

Jeckie's powers continue to develop -- she now has the ability to manipulate illusions within people's minds. This gives her a level of mind control that approaches that of Saturn Girl (which is why the two of them are fighting on the cover). My guess is that Timber Wolf has been under Jeckie's influence for a while.

BITS OF LEGIONNAIRE BUSINESS: With Garth & Imra broken up, President Kin'thea is putting the moves on Garth. Meanwhile, the whole Imra/Jo thing might have been in Imra's mind rather than in the physical world...but to Imra, there is little distinction between the two.

I am continually impressed by how the writers have stretched and redefined the powers of the various Legionnaires in this version of the LSH. I will be sorry to see this version go...although I am also happy to have the Classic Legion back.

Here's a thought: Everyone is panicking about the new Adventure Comics being an anthology series with a changing cast of characters ("oh no, it won't be a Legion comic after all!") -- wouldn't it be cool if Adventure becomes a Legion anthology, featuring a rotating cast of different Legions?

...Just a thought.

----------

Week of 24 December 2008

No Legion content this week. I am afraid there will be more weeks like this in the months ahead.

----------

Week of 17 December 2008

The only Legion content this week was Booster Gold's flight ring in BOOSTER GOLD #15 (2/09).

----------

Week of 10 December 2008

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

ACTION #872 (2/09)
"New Krypton Part Seven: Brainiac Lives"
ROLL CALL (Lightning Saga Legion): Tellus

Told you to watch the Superman Family titles.

Tellus is in one panel on the next-to-last page of the story.

In addition, Brainiac's store of miniaturized cities includes "all that's left of planets like Braal, Winath, and Tharr."

Also, when Alura mentions the Phantom Zone projector, Superman says, "I won't let my enemies interact with Zod or worse -- Mon-El or Chris." Too late...they're already interacting with Mon-El.


----------

Week of 3 December 2008

(SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers. Don't read it before you've read the comic.)

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #21 (1/09)
"One World Under Gog Part VI: Saints and Sinners"
ROLL CALL (Lightning Saga Legion): Starman/Star Boy

Thom participates in an assault on Gog, and as a result has his sanity unrestored: "Thom Kallor - No medicine from any century will ever cure your insanity." Thom responds, "Which way to the funeral? Please! The twins needed help! Then there was one!"

Next month the "One World Under Gog" story line concludes -- but I doubt it will be the conclusion of Thom's story.

----------

Late addition to Week of 26 November 2008

I've added SUPERMAN #682 to the entry for the week of 26 November 2008.

----------